The most painful and tearful times in my life are during God's answer to my fervent prayer for humility. The process is undeniably recognizable as God's hand exposing the pride and arrogance in my life and my choice to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.
Yesterday I visited with my friend Alenna who has loved Jesus for many years and through many arduous days. She was telling me of Daniel Amen's new book, Brain's Language of Love. He has taken tens of thousands of brain scans and is able to recognize where the brain is broken, and just like an x-ray for a bone, see where and how it needs fixing. He stipulates the brain measures a person's character. I had been telling her how excited I was the economy on a global scale is going to collapse in such a way as to pale the October '29 Stock Market crash. I had also mentioned of a friend who fearfully tucks away money into savings and neglects to do good with the money when they saw someone in need. "Boy, I do not have that problem!" I told her (probably with much pride). She began telling me stories of people and the Great Depression, and the grotesque art that came from that era and other eras of war. I value having a friend like Alenna who has lived and endured so much, as well as, exposed her brain to so many very good books. Our time together concluded with how tribulation produces perseverance, perseverance proven character, and character - HOPE. I am excited for the Great Time of Testing that is to come because I have proven character and great hope!
Well, that was yesterday. This morning, when God awakened me, I was in the same state of mind in which I had fallen asleep. I was groaning at the suffering of the war that rages in my flesh. He had me on my knees and in tears crying out to Him, "Please don't let me think more highly of myself than I ought."
Earlier this week I read a small portion of God's Psychiatry, a book Alenna lent me. Written in the 1960's, the author expounded on the truth in Proverbs, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." I am becoming more aware of the full circle of life that repeats over and over in my relationship with God. I set myself up on high places and God reveals my haughty spirit, His lovingkindness brings me to repentance and He tears down those high places and restores my soul, doing a brand new work of hope. Oh, it is good we have Paul's writings of himself running his race set before him. Romans comforts us in hope.
So, my sinful pride raises me up in arrogance, God opens my eyes to repentance, I choose to repent, God facilitates the tearing down of my idols and raises me up in hope...the hope of His Glory, the hope of His humility and the hope of my proven character.
"Therefore, oh my soul, let hope have it's perfect result that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Amen."
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Am I Asking Amiss?
When we lack trust in God we lack all the manifestations of answered prayer, evidence of God's glory in our lives and peace. A broken, wounded heart sometimes requires another who has already been healed to come along side and show the way. I am being drawn to women who have been married many years and are tired of living with an "angry man." What is interesting is some of these women are even more angry, maybe in a legalistic sort of way, than their husband and are probably the reason their spouse still has a broken heart. They may not be able to see the role they have played in feeding into that wounded and broken heart, injecting the very poison that entrenched the stronghold attached to the unhealed, painful wound. Also, they very likely had their heart broken by their spouse early in the marriage.
When we are able to pray rightly, for His glory, for His name's sake, and for His will to be done; then we are asking rightly. God waited many years for me, longing to hear me ask Him, "What does that mean?" "How do You want me to pray?" What do You want me to ask for?" "How am I to accomplish this?" "Why?" "When?" "Am I asking amiss?" And guess what...I kept asking amiss.
We have not because we ask not. This isn't so much what we are/or are not asking for, but asking God our question upon question until He hears the right heartfelt request and we are able to give Him our obedient response. This will result in Him answering whatever we may ask of Him.
And in light of the blog written earlier today, always pray for His Name to be glorified. We will receive true answers when we pray for His name sake.
When we are able to pray rightly, for His glory, for His name's sake, and for His will to be done; then we are asking rightly. God waited many years for me, longing to hear me ask Him, "What does that mean?" "How do You want me to pray?" What do You want me to ask for?" "How am I to accomplish this?" "Why?" "When?" "Am I asking amiss?" And guess what...I kept asking amiss.
We have not because we ask not. This isn't so much what we are/or are not asking for, but asking God our question upon question until He hears the right heartfelt request and we are able to give Him our obedient response. This will result in Him answering whatever we may ask of Him.
And in light of the blog written earlier today, always pray for His Name to be glorified. We will receive true answers when we pray for His name sake.
Answered From 24 Years of Prayer.
After praying a good portion of 24 years and soliciting the prayers of others for one, the healing of my husband's broken heart and two, the associated bitterness and anger to be gone, I finally asked God why my prayer wasn't yet answered. It was then that I saw the manifestation of unbelief and asking amiss.
This is the paraphrase of my experience with this subject
"God, why, after 24 years praying for this and still it is not answered?"
"Because my Church is suffering from a broken heart and she is harboring a spirit of bitterness."
'Wow...okay.'
Then 3 months later, "What am I praying wrong that this prayer is still not answered?"
"Because you are asking amiss." was God's immediate reply and as I was pondering this information and before I even asked He said, "You ask for yourself and what you will benefit from this prayer being answered."
"OK." So, then, I started to pray for the sake of our children. Again, about 3 months later I asked, "Now what am I praying wrong?"
"You are still praying for his heart to be healed for your own selfish reasons."
I, again, assumed I knew what He meant by that and started (trying anyway) to pray genuinely and purely for Tom's benefit. This time only about 1 month passed before I asked, "NOW WHAT? WHAT IS IT YOU WANT ME TO PRAY?"
Are you able you hear the realness starting to develop in my fervor for this prayer to be answered? I can just imagine the Father quietly saying, 'FINALLY!'
God told me, "When you are able to pray for My Name's sake and for My glory only that this be accomplished and you can be trusted with properly handling My glory when this prayer is answered, and that you will not take any credit for this answered prayer."
He expounded a little more but suffice it to say, n conclusion, "I will share My glory with no one."
'This is the truth He expressed for my serious consideration. I finally had ears to hear these thoughts from God. He prepared the way. Beforehand, I had heard a sermon and later learned during Beth Moore's Breaking Free course: God will not share His glory with anyone. And for a person to take any portion of God's glory for himself is the ultimate pride and the guarantee of his downfall.
This is the paraphrase of my experience with this subject
"God, why, after 24 years praying for this and still it is not answered?"
"Because my Church is suffering from a broken heart and she is harboring a spirit of bitterness."
'Wow...okay.'
Then 3 months later, "What am I praying wrong that this prayer is still not answered?"
"Because you are asking amiss." was God's immediate reply and as I was pondering this information and before I even asked He said, "You ask for yourself and what you will benefit from this prayer being answered."
"OK." So, then, I started to pray for the sake of our children. Again, about 3 months later I asked, "Now what am I praying wrong?"
"You are still praying for his heart to be healed for your own selfish reasons."
I, again, assumed I knew what He meant by that and started (trying anyway) to pray genuinely and purely for Tom's benefit. This time only about 1 month passed before I asked, "NOW WHAT? WHAT IS IT YOU WANT ME TO PRAY?"
Are you able you hear the realness starting to develop in my fervor for this prayer to be answered? I can just imagine the Father quietly saying, 'FINALLY!'
God told me, "When you are able to pray for My Name's sake and for My glory only that this be accomplished and you can be trusted with properly handling My glory when this prayer is answered, and that you will not take any credit for this answered prayer."
He expounded a little more but suffice it to say, n conclusion, "I will share My glory with no one."
'This is the truth He expressed for my serious consideration. I finally had ears to hear these thoughts from God. He prepared the way. Beforehand, I had heard a sermon and later learned during Beth Moore's Breaking Free course: God will not share His glory with anyone. And for a person to take any portion of God's glory for himself is the ultimate pride and the guarantee of his downfall.
Look Back Then Forget What Lies Behind
It is good to frequently take inventory of your life. To forget what lies behind means not allowing anything in the past be counted for us or against us for the purpose of personal gain or slef-deprication. When God forgets our sin, He doesn't choose amnesia to erase His memory. In fact, He has every deed done with our hands, and every thought that passes through our brain and every word that comes out of our mouth waiting for us to inspect and recognize the Holy, omniscient, all powerful, all knowing, all forgiving/ merciful nature of God through the redemptive blood of Jesus. I believe He will obliterate our sin during our private audience with Jesus on that day we stand alone before Him. And He will publicly exalt each and every one of these for each and every one of us at the great awards banquet.
On the day of judgment, each saint will be able to appreciate to the fullest the costly price Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit paid for our redemption because we will see clearly and truly comprehend all things. I believe we will have our own private audience with Jesus and He will enable us to experience His blood covering all of our sin and remove it completely from our memory.
Looking back is for confirmation we are headed in the right direction, as much as it is for seeing where we have come from. God will publicly give us recognition for each and every victorious and pure thought, word spoken or deed accomplished that brought Him glory. These we will always be known for throughout all of eternity. Everyone will have complete knowledge of every, and all, good each individual brought into His kingdom for His glory.
That is going to be one awesome awards banquet! And what a wonderful eternal existence we will enjoy.
Now, forgetting what lies behind, press on toward the upward calling of Christ Jesus.
On the day of judgment, each saint will be able to appreciate to the fullest the costly price Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit paid for our redemption because we will see clearly and truly comprehend all things. I believe we will have our own private audience with Jesus and He will enable us to experience His blood covering all of our sin and remove it completely from our memory.
Looking back is for confirmation we are headed in the right direction, as much as it is for seeing where we have come from. God will publicly give us recognition for each and every victorious and pure thought, word spoken or deed accomplished that brought Him glory. These we will always be known for throughout all of eternity. Everyone will have complete knowledge of every, and all, good each individual brought into His kingdom for His glory.
That is going to be one awesome awards banquet! And what a wonderful eternal existence we will enjoy.
Now, forgetting what lies behind, press on toward the upward calling of Christ Jesus.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
In Ihe Middle Of The Night...AGAIN?
God awakened me unusually early this day so here I am, unable to be disciplined in prayer so I'm blogging. I have been changing much these days, working out my salvation with fear and trembling. I was reflecting on 24 years of marriage and a prophesy an Evangelical Pastor student from India prophesied to me before I knew the word of God or what prophesy was for that matter. This morning God has opened my eyes and ears to hear something very interesting! But first let me start from last week: At Wed. Morning Offering,
God told me, "Love your husband as a woman loves a man."
I cried, "But God, I am still wounded."
"I know," He said.
Then I added, "But I feel he crucified me on a cross and just left me there."
"I understand. I know how that feels."
Later in the hour, we broke into 2 person prayer groups and Cindy prayed with me. I cried the tears of a little child in her mother's arms. Since then, I have been humbling myself as a gentle, kind servant to my husband in ways I have never been able to in the past.
So now, before daybreak and after a time of lying in bed enjoying fellowship with God, but starting to feel guilty for not being on my knees, God gave me the following word of knowledge. But first He had me reflect on what should have been an 11 day journey to the Promised Land that become 40 years of wandering in the desert.
It was an effective combination; reflecting on my 24 years of marriage and the Israeli's grueling journey around Mt. Sinai.
"What was meant to take a few days, required many years." I knew God was referring to my marriage regarding my husband still needing healing for his broken heart (which, as it turns out, is actually a stronghold of witchcraft from his rebellion due to unhealed childhood wounds, but that's a blog for another day).
Then God played back to me a comment I made to Tom 24 years ago after (or during) one of our first and last prayers we prayed together as husband and wife:
I said to Tom, "You always pray such 'Mary had a little lamb' prayers?" And it wasn't spoken kindly. How grossly humbling.
I once asked God to reveal to me how negatively I had influenced my marriage and family after meditating on the wicked/ deceitfulness of the heart. He gave me a good revelation of how my heart had deceived me causing paramount consequences to our family. That was then, and that was 2 years ago. This day, I think I see even more clearly the severity of the wickedness of my own heart and the magnitude of the consequences it has had on our family.
I will be spending the next few days legitimately praying and mourning in sack cloth and ashes.
Oh yea, the prophesy I was given in 1974: "In this world you will have many tribulations but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me for I am gentle and humble of heart and you will find rest for your soul."
May the merciful name of the Almighty God be praised, for His kindness endures forever."
God told me, "Love your husband as a woman loves a man."
I cried, "But God, I am still wounded."
"I know," He said.
Then I added, "But I feel he crucified me on a cross and just left me there."
"I understand. I know how that feels."
Later in the hour, we broke into 2 person prayer groups and Cindy prayed with me. I cried the tears of a little child in her mother's arms. Since then, I have been humbling myself as a gentle, kind servant to my husband in ways I have never been able to in the past.
So now, before daybreak and after a time of lying in bed enjoying fellowship with God, but starting to feel guilty for not being on my knees, God gave me the following word of knowledge. But first He had me reflect on what should have been an 11 day journey to the Promised Land that become 40 years of wandering in the desert.
It was an effective combination; reflecting on my 24 years of marriage and the Israeli's grueling journey around Mt. Sinai.
"What was meant to take a few days, required many years." I knew God was referring to my marriage regarding my husband still needing healing for his broken heart (which, as it turns out, is actually a stronghold of witchcraft from his rebellion due to unhealed childhood wounds, but that's a blog for another day).
Then God played back to me a comment I made to Tom 24 years ago after (or during) one of our first and last prayers we prayed together as husband and wife:
I said to Tom, "You always pray such 'Mary had a little lamb' prayers?" And it wasn't spoken kindly. How grossly humbling.
I once asked God to reveal to me how negatively I had influenced my marriage and family after meditating on the wicked/ deceitfulness of the heart. He gave me a good revelation of how my heart had deceived me causing paramount consequences to our family. That was then, and that was 2 years ago. This day, I think I see even more clearly the severity of the wickedness of my own heart and the magnitude of the consequences it has had on our family.
I will be spending the next few days legitimately praying and mourning in sack cloth and ashes.
Oh yea, the prophesy I was given in 1974: "In this world you will have many tribulations but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me for I am gentle and humble of heart and you will find rest for your soul."
May the merciful name of the Almighty God be praised, for His kindness endures forever."
Friday, August 28, 2009
Evil Must Prevail AND I Must Still Fight
Dear Nancy Grace at CNN,
A Russian Immigrant family was brutalized on their own property by police in Marion County, Salem, Oregon. Police refused to leave even though the reason for the 911 call had been resolved. The family, excitedly speaking Russian to one another for the safe return of their son/ husband, gave police permission to leave and the police refused and became enraged. This is the short version.
Alex (26) went for a walk in the late night without giving notice and his Mom and wife thought he drowned in their pond. They called 911. Alex arrived back home shortly after the police got there and the encounter escalated with Police tasing him for a continuous 60-90 seconds. His pregnant wife was left alone in parent's home as 5 of 6 family handcuffed/ tased/ no rights read to them/ and hauled off to jail. Charges of Rioting were filed. One sister cited is only 17 and an American citizen, born in this country! No media coverage aired though 18 police, ER responders and media present (filming), most of whom watched and laughed. This occurred July 24, 2009. No joke. Please pray for this family and these cops. Please reply if you find this note worthy news.
Fallacious citations of rioting issued. Arraignment 8/24/09 resulted in Judge issuing a court order the family was not to have any contact with one another. Wife to move away from husband and their home of 15 years, 17 year old sister to move away from brother's Corvallis house. This is Salem, Oregon, USA!!!
Marion County has power hungry police, judges, and public servants.
Their attorney appealed and the next day, 8/25/09, with the family traveling a second day to learn court order reduced to kids cannot have contact with parents. Their stories are full of holes and lies. This is an outrage.
I just learned of another incidence in Marion County. A couple rebellious teenagers called police from payphone and reported fallaciously that his Russian parents beat him and all the other kids in the family and though charges unfounded, parents jailed and all children relocated, even 2 week old baby at the time. Imagine being 2 weeks postpartum/ breastfeeding and being taken from your baby. Now, 100 families in Marion County are under investigation by Marion County officials because they signed a petition they supported the disciplinary actions of the Russian couple jailed!!!
I expect a reply. I will send this info to another if I do not receive a reply, but you are my first/ best choice.
From a soul who has a passion to fight for justice on behalf of these violated citizens of a corrupt Salem, Oregon County.
Sincerely,
CNN Viewer Communications Management
"CNN, The Most Trusted Name In News"
A Russian Immigrant family was brutalized on their own property by police in Marion County, Salem, Oregon. Police refused to leave even though the reason for the 911 call had been resolved. The family, excitedly speaking Russian to one another for the safe return of their son/ husband, gave police permission to leave and the police refused and became enraged. This is the short version.
Alex (26) went for a walk in the late night without giving notice and his Mom and wife thought he drowned in their pond. They called 911. Alex arrived back home shortly after the police got there and the encounter escalated with Police tasing him for a continuous 60-90 seconds. His pregnant wife was left alone in parent's home as 5 of 6 family handcuffed/ tased/ no rights read to them/ and hauled off to jail. Charges of Rioting were filed. One sister cited is only 17 and an American citizen, born in this country! No media coverage aired though 18 police, ER responders and media present (filming), most of whom watched and laughed. This occurred July 24, 2009. No joke. Please pray for this family and these cops. Please reply if you find this note worthy news.
Fallacious citations of rioting issued. Arraignment 8/24/09 resulted in Judge issuing a court order the family was not to have any contact with one another. Wife to move away from husband and their home of 15 years, 17 year old sister to move away from brother's Corvallis house. This is Salem, Oregon, USA!!!
Marion County has power hungry police, judges, and public servants.
Their attorney appealed and the next day, 8/25/09, with the family traveling a second day to learn court order reduced to kids cannot have contact with parents. Their stories are full of holes and lies. This is an outrage.
I just learned of another incidence in Marion County. A couple rebellious teenagers called police from payphone and reported fallaciously that his Russian parents beat him and all the other kids in the family and though charges unfounded, parents jailed and all children relocated, even 2 week old baby at the time. Imagine being 2 weeks postpartum/ breastfeeding and being taken from your baby. Now, 100 families in Marion County are under investigation by Marion County officials because they signed a petition they supported the disciplinary actions of the Russian couple jailed!!!
I expect a reply. I will send this info to another if I do not receive a reply, but you are my first/ best choice.
From a soul who has a passion to fight for justice on behalf of these violated citizens of a corrupt Salem, Oregon County.
Thank you for contacting CNN. This email is to notify you that your news tip has been received and will be reviewed in a timely manner. You will be contacted if the news tip is valid and we need further information and verification.
We appreciate your news tip and thank you for choosing CNN as your breaking news source.Sincerely,
CNN Viewer Communications Management
"CNN, The Most Trusted Name In News"
Rebuked In Love
God rebuked me during Morning Prayer because I wrongly handled a prophecy He gave me. I interjected my own thought. It was a painful enough lesson that I learned it well. It will not be a repeated mistake anytime soon. This is what God told me later in the day,
“You are to speak only what I give you. Do not add your words or thoughts to it. Do not venture your opinion or interpretation into it. Do not omit something because you do not understand it’s meaning. I require obedience and a close ear to My word. It is then that your prayer will be heard.”
The prophecy I spoke during morning prayer was: I heard the Father say. "The Holy Spirit is crying at his feet," (the feet of the young man for whom we were all interceding). I then saw a woman kneeling at his feet and wiping the tears with her hair. Before I heard or saw anything more, I had this thought and spoke it out, “It is hard to imagine the Holy Spirit as a woman.” Whereupon, the prophecy ended as I was no longer in the Spirit. I know there was to be more but I had no confidence to continue as the word of the Spirit left me. I pray the continuation of that word be given to this brother through someone else.
I cherish the discipline of the Lord. I find great confidence and security knowing his love will keep me in right relationship with Him and He does this in the gentlest way necessary. Six months ago I heard Him speak most clearly and loudly,
“You will be judged for every word that comes out of your mouth.” I have known of this truth for many years, but with these two rebukes from Him, I know this truth.
“You are to speak only what I give you. Do not add your words or thoughts to it. Do not venture your opinion or interpretation into it. Do not omit something because you do not understand it’s meaning. I require obedience and a close ear to My word. It is then that your prayer will be heard.”
The prophecy I spoke during morning prayer was: I heard the Father say. "The Holy Spirit is crying at his feet," (the feet of the young man for whom we were all interceding). I then saw a woman kneeling at his feet and wiping the tears with her hair. Before I heard or saw anything more, I had this thought and spoke it out, “It is hard to imagine the Holy Spirit as a woman.” Whereupon, the prophecy ended as I was no longer in the Spirit. I know there was to be more but I had no confidence to continue as the word of the Spirit left me. I pray the continuation of that word be given to this brother through someone else.
I cherish the discipline of the Lord. I find great confidence and security knowing his love will keep me in right relationship with Him and He does this in the gentlest way necessary. Six months ago I heard Him speak most clearly and loudly,
“You will be judged for every word that comes out of your mouth.” I have known of this truth for many years, but with these two rebukes from Him, I know this truth.
Monday, August 24, 2009
An Atrocity
A Russian Immigrant family was brutalized on their own property by police in Marion County, Oregon. Police refused to leave even though the reason for the 911 call had been resolved. The family, excitedly speaking Russian to one another for the safe return of their son and husband, gave police permission to leave and the police refused and became enraged. This is the short version. Alex (26) went for a walk in the late night without giving notice and his Mom and wife thought he drowned in their pond. They called 911. Alex arrived back home shortly after the police got there and the encounter escalated with Police tasing him for continuous 60-90 sec. His pregnant wife was left alone in parent's home as 5 of 6 family handcuffed/ tased/ no rights read to them/ and hauled off to jail. Charges of Rioting were filed.
Arraignment is Tuesday, 8/25/09. No media coverage though 18 police, ER responders and media present, most of whom watched and laughed. This occurred July 24, 2009. No joke. Please pray for this family.
Arraignment is Tuesday, 8/25/09. No media coverage though 18 police, ER responders and media present, most of whom watched and laughed. This occurred July 24, 2009. No joke. Please pray for this family.
Friday, August 7, 2009
FIVE VIRGINS / ONLY HALF RAPTURED?
What if only 50% of The Church qualified for the rapture. What if only Christians who were completely sold out to Jesus were raptured and the lukewarm, unrepentant or those satisfied with fire insurance from hell were left behind.
Remember the Ten virgin men? Italics mine. What if all ten are of the house of God and five of the didn't have enough oil in their lamp or any extra for the anticipated delay. What if the delay represents times of living our lives as if God didn't really care? or apathy, or laziness, or self satisfaction or satisfaction with what this world has to offer? That is just another reason I believe the church is in for some very rough times, times that appear as if the seven years of tribulation has already begun. But has it? Those who have a true relationship with the Father and keep His commandments, they will survive and endure to the rapture. The great time of testing will be endured by those believers on the fence.
"From the days of John the Baptist, until now, the Kingdom of God suffers violence and violent men take it by force." Matthew 11:12
THE TIME TO BE EARNEST IN PRAYER IS NOW!
Remember the Ten virgin men? Italics mine. What if all ten are of the house of God and five of the didn't have enough oil in their lamp or any extra for the anticipated delay. What if the delay represents times of living our lives as if God didn't really care? or apathy, or laziness, or self satisfaction or satisfaction with what this world has to offer? That is just another reason I believe the church is in for some very rough times, times that appear as if the seven years of tribulation has already begun. But has it? Those who have a true relationship with the Father and keep His commandments, they will survive and endure to the rapture. The great time of testing will be endured by those believers on the fence.
"From the days of John the Baptist, until now, the Kingdom of God suffers violence and violent men take it by force." Matthew 11:12
THE TIME TO BE EARNEST IN PRAYER IS NOW!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
To Hate Evil
God desires us to hate evil and the evil way.
The fear of the LORD is to hate evil;
pride and arrogance and the evil way, and the perverted mouth, I hate. Proverbs 8:13
These are my recent focus.
The fear of the LORD is to hate evil;
pride and arrogance and the evil way, and the perverted mouth, I hate. Proverbs 8:13
These are my recent focus.
Putting Off the Old Title
I just removed from my identity the first "handle" or "title" that I had embraced as an 18 year old new baby christian.
"A Grain of Sand To Irritate the Oyster"
This is a bold, outrageous lie from Satan. I was able to easily believe this lie as from the Lord because it was a glorified version of my perverted identity when I was lost and part of the domain of the world and dwelling in the lair of deceit. It was even personally modified through the years as I grew in the grace and knowledge of who I am in Christ in order to make it sound more like truth. Therefore, it gradually became "A Grain of Sand To Create the Pearl." I never was this identity but because the enemy had me believing I was, He was able to keep in my life other lies. Many, many lies have died to me as I grew, but God is loosening a few powerful strongholds in my life that are all attached to lies that I held on to tenaciously.
I have been going through Breaking Free by Beth Moore. So far, two very powerful, insidious lies with strongholds in my life are being torn down and though this is just the beginning of an arduous journey, some of the fruit of repentance is already very sweetly tasted.
Praise be to Jesus for His bountiful grace! And for the gracious love of my husband, children and church family.
"A Grain of Sand To Irritate the Oyster"
This is a bold, outrageous lie from Satan. I was able to easily believe this lie as from the Lord because it was a glorified version of my perverted identity when I was lost and part of the domain of the world and dwelling in the lair of deceit. It was even personally modified through the years as I grew in the grace and knowledge of who I am in Christ in order to make it sound more like truth. Therefore, it gradually became "A Grain of Sand To Create the Pearl." I never was this identity but because the enemy had me believing I was, He was able to keep in my life other lies. Many, many lies have died to me as I grew, but God is loosening a few powerful strongholds in my life that are all attached to lies that I held on to tenaciously.
I have been going through Breaking Free by Beth Moore. So far, two very powerful, insidious lies with strongholds in my life are being torn down and though this is just the beginning of an arduous journey, some of the fruit of repentance is already very sweetly tasted.
Praise be to Jesus for His bountiful grace! And for the gracious love of my husband, children and church family.
A New Title Is Received
Until I received release from the captivity that held me as "Queen Know It All," I struggled to understand some of my unattractive behaviors and why they continued to plagued me without any enduring victory over them.
Since repenting of the idolatry over my pride that encased and fortified the lie I once believed, I have been receptive to receive more correction from God. I can truly say, I am comforted by the discipline of the Lord.
During corporate prayer, He opened the eyes of my heart to see how I have been given a passion to know and understand all things pertaining to love and relationships since my earliest days. My pride perverted that passion, turning me into Queen Know It All. Therefore, I am having another cavernous vein that an idol once occupied, washed by the word of my gracious Father in Heaven, replaced with the truth and filled with His Holy Spirit.
It all started when God awakened me that night at 3AM to pray. Even though I spent the next 2 hours randomly praying, I wasn't sure what it was I was to be praying about and it felt as if I accomplished a total of 20 minutes of actual praying. I should have opened my bible that was right within my reach because I had the light turned on already anyway, but the enemy managed to keep me from doing so. Instead, I spent a lot of the time pondering what I have been learning from the bible recently along with a couple verses I've meditated on for years. Looking back, though I felt my time was unproductive or inefficient, I saw the benefit of it in early morning prayer when He broke my heart once again for my sin of pride.
Job was considered blameless. He was not considered sinless. He offered sacrifices for his sin and the sin of all his family in case any of them had sinned the evening before. I am learning to keep short accounts. I may not be aware of my sin or the separation from God that it caused but He is, and He is able to give us a spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and strength, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. May He cause the Spirit of the LORD to rest upon us. Isaiah 11
"Jesus, let's see now, what can my new title be?"
Since repenting of the idolatry over my pride that encased and fortified the lie I once believed, I have been receptive to receive more correction from God. I can truly say, I am comforted by the discipline of the Lord.
During corporate prayer, He opened the eyes of my heart to see how I have been given a passion to know and understand all things pertaining to love and relationships since my earliest days. My pride perverted that passion, turning me into Queen Know It All. Therefore, I am having another cavernous vein that an idol once occupied, washed by the word of my gracious Father in Heaven, replaced with the truth and filled with His Holy Spirit.
It all started when God awakened me that night at 3AM to pray. Even though I spent the next 2 hours randomly praying, I wasn't sure what it was I was to be praying about and it felt as if I accomplished a total of 20 minutes of actual praying. I should have opened my bible that was right within my reach because I had the light turned on already anyway, but the enemy managed to keep me from doing so. Instead, I spent a lot of the time pondering what I have been learning from the bible recently along with a couple verses I've meditated on for years. Looking back, though I felt my time was unproductive or inefficient, I saw the benefit of it in early morning prayer when He broke my heart once again for my sin of pride.
Job was considered blameless. He was not considered sinless. He offered sacrifices for his sin and the sin of all his family in case any of them had sinned the evening before. I am learning to keep short accounts. I may not be aware of my sin or the separation from God that it caused but He is, and He is able to give us a spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and strength, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. May He cause the Spirit of the LORD to rest upon us. Isaiah 11
"Jesus, let's see now, what can my new title be?"
Monday, August 3, 2009
Jesus Meets The Saints In The Air
It appears there are 2 periods of time when the saints meet Jesus in the air. His return at the end of the age when His arrival will be obvious to all on the earth, as lightning that strikes in the East and flashes to the West. There will be no doubt or question and every knee will bow.
But the Word implies He will meet us when we are raptured, though I believe this meeting will not be visible or obvious to any left upon the earth at that time.
Now about the 10 virgins. I have always pictured 10 females. God refers to the 144,000, whose foreheads will bear the mark (seal) of God, as virgins. What if the 10 virgins are symbolic of those saints who dwell on the earth at the time right before the rapture occurs. Oil has symbolized the Holy Spirit. Again, is there really any possible hope for rapture insurance as some believers are counting on their born again salvation experience as their guarentee they will avoid eternal damnation? Once saved always saved? Jesus mentions to one of the 7 churches of erasing their name from the Lamb's book of life unless they repent. Does being saved guarrentee candidacy for the rapture? Name written in the Lamb's book of life so it's in the bag no matter what? I think it is much truer to the character of God to require blamelessness as Job for deliverence from the great time of testing for all man upon the earth during the terrible tribulation.
And could the tribulation have already begun with all the persecution in other nations? Is the anti-christ revealed to the whole world or just a priviledged few at first? The first seal that the Lamb of God breaks is the anti-christ rising to power. And Jesus says to the church of Smyrna as knowing their suffering, poverty and tribulation, though they are rich. Then, encouraging them to keep enduring, with the announcement of 10 days of persecution they will endure by being put into prison and martyrdom before they are removed and spared the time of great testing? They have already proven themselves faithful and blameless. It stands to reason they would be spared the end of the age tribulation.
At this moment:
I believe only the saints who are blameless as they stand before the Lord will be raptured, and therefore, escape the time of great testing.
Jesus' return to this earth will be overwhelmingly obvious and awesome and saints from this earth will meet Him in the sky.
This will be the end of the age.
Could the beginning of a new age be when tribulation saints who endure to the end will reign and rule during the 1,000 years Satan is bound. They will rule over the tribulation oppressors and enemies of the cross of Jesus. These immoral people will not be allowed through the gates into the New Jerusalem.
These saints who died and endured during the tribulation will be of the first ressurection while others who died through the ages remain asleep. Blessed are those who are a part of the first ressurection.
When Satan is released, he will be allowed to rise to power, gather his armies and fight for one hour. His defeat will be total and complete.
Then, the second ressurection with the separation of goats and sheep and the great white throne judgment for all not covered in the blood of Jesus.
Satan cast into hell for all eternity.
I am sure my whole existence upon this earth will flash before my eyes to appreciate the horror of and the cost Jesus paid for my sin.
And the saints whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life attend an awards banquet where they are recognized and honored for all their deeds in the name of Jesus.
We could all have positions of varying degrees of authority according to our stewardship during our time spent here.
After evil is judged and cast away for all eternity, the new heaven and earth will be as it was with the garden of Eden before the fall.
Bottom line, Jesus is Lord and the Father is exhalted and glorified by Jesus and the sevenfold Spirit of God - the Holy Spirit, and through the saints who walk humbly with Him.
But the Word implies He will meet us when we are raptured, though I believe this meeting will not be visible or obvious to any left upon the earth at that time.
Now about the 10 virgins. I have always pictured 10 females. God refers to the 144,000, whose foreheads will bear the mark (seal) of God, as virgins. What if the 10 virgins are symbolic of those saints who dwell on the earth at the time right before the rapture occurs. Oil has symbolized the Holy Spirit. Again, is there really any possible hope for rapture insurance as some believers are counting on their born again salvation experience as their guarentee they will avoid eternal damnation? Once saved always saved? Jesus mentions to one of the 7 churches of erasing their name from the Lamb's book of life unless they repent. Does being saved guarrentee candidacy for the rapture? Name written in the Lamb's book of life so it's in the bag no matter what? I think it is much truer to the character of God to require blamelessness as Job for deliverence from the great time of testing for all man upon the earth during the terrible tribulation.
And could the tribulation have already begun with all the persecution in other nations? Is the anti-christ revealed to the whole world or just a priviledged few at first? The first seal that the Lamb of God breaks is the anti-christ rising to power. And Jesus says to the church of Smyrna as knowing their suffering, poverty and tribulation, though they are rich. Then, encouraging them to keep enduring, with the announcement of 10 days of persecution they will endure by being put into prison and martyrdom before they are removed and spared the time of great testing? They have already proven themselves faithful and blameless. It stands to reason they would be spared the end of the age tribulation.
At this moment:
I believe only the saints who are blameless as they stand before the Lord will be raptured, and therefore, escape the time of great testing.
Jesus' return to this earth will be overwhelmingly obvious and awesome and saints from this earth will meet Him in the sky.
This will be the end of the age.
Could the beginning of a new age be when tribulation saints who endure to the end will reign and rule during the 1,000 years Satan is bound. They will rule over the tribulation oppressors and enemies of the cross of Jesus. These immoral people will not be allowed through the gates into the New Jerusalem.
These saints who died and endured during the tribulation will be of the first ressurection while others who died through the ages remain asleep. Blessed are those who are a part of the first ressurection.
When Satan is released, he will be allowed to rise to power, gather his armies and fight for one hour. His defeat will be total and complete.
Then, the second ressurection with the separation of goats and sheep and the great white throne judgment for all not covered in the blood of Jesus.
Satan cast into hell for all eternity.
I am sure my whole existence upon this earth will flash before my eyes to appreciate the horror of and the cost Jesus paid for my sin.
And the saints whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life attend an awards banquet where they are recognized and honored for all their deeds in the name of Jesus.
We could all have positions of varying degrees of authority according to our stewardship during our time spent here.
After evil is judged and cast away for all eternity, the new heaven and earth will be as it was with the garden of Eden before the fall.
Bottom line, Jesus is Lord and the Father is exhalted and glorified by Jesus and the sevenfold Spirit of God - the Holy Spirit, and through the saints who walk humbly with Him.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Job Prayed For His 3 Friends. So Who Was Elihu?
Having just repented of my Idolatry, and while still in my prayer closet, God directed me to Job. He had me take note of who was saying what. I differentiated which "comforter" of Job's 3 friends was speaking, when Job answered and the rebukes Elihu gave Job. The Holy Spirit had me notice that Job prayed for his 3 friends: Eliazar, Zofar and Bildad. So who was Elihu? After writing that question down in my bible, I went back and reread what Elihu said.
I sensed right way what God was telling me and His answer was plausible but I felt safe in pondering His answer before speaking of it to anyone. I shared this information with someone after prayer tonight and their response encouraged me so I feel free to write this down.
Elihu was a young man whom Satan used because of his pride and unclean lips. He is filled with the prince of the air due to the pride of his flesh. There is no mention of his arrival, his relation to Job or his departure. God does not recognize him. He only acknowledged him as the one who speaks condemnation lies, mixed within the truth, for the destruction of Job's confidence in God and his blameless position before the Maker.
Pray for all the saints daily, saturate your heart with the truth of God and renounce the lies of the enemy.
I sensed right way what God was telling me and His answer was plausible but I felt safe in pondering His answer before speaking of it to anyone. I shared this information with someone after prayer tonight and their response encouraged me so I feel free to write this down.
Elihu was a young man whom Satan used because of his pride and unclean lips. He is filled with the prince of the air due to the pride of his flesh. There is no mention of his arrival, his relation to Job or his departure. God does not recognize him. He only acknowledged him as the one who speaks condemnation lies, mixed within the truth, for the destruction of Job's confidence in God and his blameless position before the Maker.
Pray for all the saints daily, saturate your heart with the truth of God and renounce the lies of the enemy.
I Believed the Lie, Fortified It by Pride, and It Became My Idol
Wednesday early morning prayer became a grotesque experience with me monopolizing the whole hour. It was perfect timing for God to reveal to me the stronghold that I had been seeing evidenced in myself during corporate prayer for over 18 months.
Afterward, I went up to a brother and thanked him for reading the passage in Colosians to love one another. I proceeded to tell him how I knew I was difficult to love, that I was odd and not easily lovable. I couldn't "hear" what he was saying until after he said it at least 4 times, "You are lovable." I kept thinking, 'Well duh.' But my heart didn't believe the truth of the knowledge that was buried in my head. I assured him I heard what he was saying and planned to go home and talk to God about it. Well, this is what I learned from the Holy Spirit that morning as I heard Him say,
"You believed a lie: 'You are unlovable.' that Satan indoctrinated into your developing mind, while in utero, as an unwanted pregnancy. As you experienced rejection upon rejection,the lie was reinforced. Still believing the lie, you allowed the enemy to fortify a stronghold around the lie. Then, as you increased in knowledge of the love of Jesus, you justified the lie with pride saying, 'I am odd because I am special. I have a special calling on my life and I just don't need friends.' This fortified your pride around the lie. Pride took hold to become an idol. You have established an idol in your heart. An idol of your own pride of being odd, because you believe the lie instead of the truth." Thus saith the Lord.
Now that was a first for me! I heard the Holy Spirit clearly expose, explain and rebuke me all at the same time that morning. It was just 2 days earlier I was in my prayer closet bawling my eyes out in repentance, but this time I felt like vomiting. I was so disgusted I was more angry than tearful but repentance was definitely the desired result. It is amazing how hearing a sermon weeks ago about idolatry, going home and reading Isaiah 44 and Jeremiah 10 as Pastor recommended, then refreshing the info of Idolatry this week studying Beth Moore's Breaking Free workbook, I strained to search my heart for idols before finally asking God to show me any. Why did I waste all that time when I could have just asked Him in the first place. Man, that was a prayer He delighted in answering. I have not because I ask not. I am constantly needing to learn to keep asking God what it is He wants me to pray or what it is He wants me to ask Him. May it never be said of me, "She had not because she asked not."
Afterward, I went up to a brother and thanked him for reading the passage in Colosians to love one another. I proceeded to tell him how I knew I was difficult to love, that I was odd and not easily lovable. I couldn't "hear" what he was saying until after he said it at least 4 times, "You are lovable." I kept thinking, 'Well duh.' But my heart didn't believe the truth of the knowledge that was buried in my head. I assured him I heard what he was saying and planned to go home and talk to God about it. Well, this is what I learned from the Holy Spirit that morning as I heard Him say,
"You believed a lie: 'You are unlovable.' that Satan indoctrinated into your developing mind, while in utero, as an unwanted pregnancy. As you experienced rejection upon rejection,the lie was reinforced. Still believing the lie, you allowed the enemy to fortify a stronghold around the lie. Then, as you increased in knowledge of the love of Jesus, you justified the lie with pride saying, 'I am odd because I am special. I have a special calling on my life and I just don't need friends.' This fortified your pride around the lie. Pride took hold to become an idol. You have established an idol in your heart. An idol of your own pride of being odd, because you believe the lie instead of the truth." Thus saith the Lord.
Now that was a first for me! I heard the Holy Spirit clearly expose, explain and rebuke me all at the same time that morning. It was just 2 days earlier I was in my prayer closet bawling my eyes out in repentance, but this time I felt like vomiting. I was so disgusted I was more angry than tearful but repentance was definitely the desired result. It is amazing how hearing a sermon weeks ago about idolatry, going home and reading Isaiah 44 and Jeremiah 10 as Pastor recommended, then refreshing the info of Idolatry this week studying Beth Moore's Breaking Free workbook, I strained to search my heart for idols before finally asking God to show me any. Why did I waste all that time when I could have just asked Him in the first place. Man, that was a prayer He delighted in answering. I have not because I ask not. I am constantly needing to learn to keep asking God what it is He wants me to pray or what it is He wants me to ask Him. May it never be said of me, "She had not because she asked not."
Sign Reads: "I AM GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE UNLESS YOU TELL ME ABOUT JESUS!"
How will they know unless someone tells them? Wouldn't it be great if everyone whose name was written in the Lamb's book of life had a sign around their neck that read: "I am desperately searching for Jesus. Does anyone know Him?"
Someone told me last week of having something to share with me for the past 18 months but they haven't shared it with me because they knew I wouldn't receive it. Now that didn't feel like the way Jesus would have handled the situation but He used it. That same morning, my husband informed me I had an ugly old lady hair from my chin. He is very tactful because I actually had about 5 long chin hairs with a few unwanted mustache hairs as well. But he told me as if it was so obvious he couldn't believe I had allowed it to remain there. I remember responding to him, "Honey, I'm blind! How would I know unless you tell me?" Because I am now forced to wear reading glasses, I don't enjoy spending much time in front of the mirror. Besides, at 53 I have a face with a bazillion wrinkles, and I just plain don't enjoy looking into the mirror anymore. I actually used to be very beautiful once upon a time. (sigh). What I do thrive on is looking into the mirror of the Word and through the lives and hearts of others. Well anyway, I bawled my eyes out that morning because 18 months is a long time to suffer others to a blindspot of mine. And though my wounded pride was an issue, it bothered me to think of all it did to affect God's honor and glory. But Praise be to God in the highest!! He is faithful and his loving kindness brings us to repentance. Within 3 days, He revealed to me the ugly lie He wanted me to see and repent of (though I still do not know what that girl was thinking of telling me for the past 18 months).
When a brother or sister has a sin or blind spot, it may be obvious to many others. This does not mean we are to assume someone else will tell them about it, nor should we assume it is obvious to themselves. DUH. Blind spot!
If we love one another as Christ loves the church, praying about it is the start but saying something about it may also be the loving thing to do. I literally felt as if I had a piece of dark green spinach stuck on my front tooth from lunchtime. Then realizing it while washing my hands for dinner, after spending the afternoon with a large group of friends. Sometimes it is our responsibility to speak the truth in love. Of course, bathed in prayer and waiting on the Lord is critical, especially if they don't know us well, but obedience to God and love for Him is always to be our motive. We are not responsible for the blind man's reaction if he rejects our assistance.
But it sure would be helpful if I could wear a sign that read, "I am quick to repent if you tell me in love."
Someone told me last week of having something to share with me for the past 18 months but they haven't shared it with me because they knew I wouldn't receive it. Now that didn't feel like the way Jesus would have handled the situation but He used it. That same morning, my husband informed me I had an ugly old lady hair from my chin. He is very tactful because I actually had about 5 long chin hairs with a few unwanted mustache hairs as well. But he told me as if it was so obvious he couldn't believe I had allowed it to remain there. I remember responding to him, "Honey, I'm blind! How would I know unless you tell me?" Because I am now forced to wear reading glasses, I don't enjoy spending much time in front of the mirror. Besides, at 53 I have a face with a bazillion wrinkles, and I just plain don't enjoy looking into the mirror anymore. I actually used to be very beautiful once upon a time. (sigh). What I do thrive on is looking into the mirror of the Word and through the lives and hearts of others. Well anyway, I bawled my eyes out that morning because 18 months is a long time to suffer others to a blindspot of mine. And though my wounded pride was an issue, it bothered me to think of all it did to affect God's honor and glory. But Praise be to God in the highest!! He is faithful and his loving kindness brings us to repentance. Within 3 days, He revealed to me the ugly lie He wanted me to see and repent of (though I still do not know what that girl was thinking of telling me for the past 18 months).
When a brother or sister has a sin or blind spot, it may be obvious to many others. This does not mean we are to assume someone else will tell them about it, nor should we assume it is obvious to themselves. DUH. Blind spot!
If we love one another as Christ loves the church, praying about it is the start but saying something about it may also be the loving thing to do. I literally felt as if I had a piece of dark green spinach stuck on my front tooth from lunchtime. Then realizing it while washing my hands for dinner, after spending the afternoon with a large group of friends. Sometimes it is our responsibility to speak the truth in love. Of course, bathed in prayer and waiting on the Lord is critical, especially if they don't know us well, but obedience to God and love for Him is always to be our motive. We are not responsible for the blind man's reaction if he rejects our assistance.
But it sure would be helpful if I could wear a sign that read, "I am quick to repent if you tell me in love."
Regarding The 7 Churches of Asia Minor
I have been studying Daniel, Revelations and Ezekiel off and on for the past 6 months. I am starting to understand why I am so compelled to go around and shake people by the shoulders and say, "Wake up. Wake up."
It appears as if it is possible that only 2 of the 7 churches (as a whole, in their entirety) will qualify for the rapture while the lukewarm saints remain on this earth for the great testing of man. Remember, it will be as a thief in the night with no time to go get more oil. Two in the field side by side, one goes and one stays; then, two in a bed and one goes while the other is left behind. Look at Smyrna and Philadelphia. God has only commendation for them and no complaint. Though faithful few from the other churches could rapture, those churches are exhorted to repent and truly hear what the Spirit is saying to the 7 churches.
I personally am secure in my relationship with Christ and am sold out, growing in grace and knowledge and I pray with out ceasing and daily for all the saints. As a fruit inspector, all my christian friends and associates are sold out to Jesus. It is my neighbor (in this city or that city) who needs to hear the truth about Jesus, and it is unloving to withhold the truth from them.
The angel of the church of Smyrna commends these believers for travailing through great suffering and then tribulation persecution for 10 days. What if the 7 year period of the great tribulation actually begins 10 days before the rapture? When Jesus was on this earth, He said He didn't know the day or the hour. What if He knows now because He is ascended? The last book is actually the Revelation of Jesus Christ as given to Him by His Father and revealed to John. Even John, like Daniel, was given revelation he was not to write down. Revelation only for himself from Jesus.
Regardless, I desire to be God's best friend, like John. I know He is my best friend. I desire to Know and Understand, to be Wise and have the Fear of the Lord just as the sevenfold Spirit spoken in Revelations and cross referenced in Isaiah.
I'm getting to know a gal who is not living her life for God and though she is born again and has a head full of knowledge. I explained to her how she might possibly not qualify to be raptured (one of the virgins who did not have adequate oil in their lamp) and would only realize this when it was too late to repent and re-establish her relationship by giving Jesus all her devotion. The words coming out of my mouth were stern but loving, serious yet full of hope and encouragement. It's not yet too late for her to repent. Today is the day of salvation.
All God had against the church of Ephesus was they lost their first love. Could it be they will have to remain for the great time of testing for all who dwell upon the earth during the great tribulation unless they repent and be restored? Know anyone who is luke warm? Yikes!! They could definitely be playing Russian Roulette with their chances to be spared from that terrible day. What if many who have their name written in the lamb's book of life will fail to qualify and will have the eyes of their understanding opened only to see it when it is too late? Which of the 7 churches are you personally a member of? What about that person in your life whom you know would benefit from this warning? Is your love for God real enough to warn them? Unless they repent, they may have to endure until the end to be saved.
It appears as if it is possible that only 2 of the 7 churches (as a whole, in their entirety) will qualify for the rapture while the lukewarm saints remain on this earth for the great testing of man. Remember, it will be as a thief in the night with no time to go get more oil. Two in the field side by side, one goes and one stays; then, two in a bed and one goes while the other is left behind. Look at Smyrna and Philadelphia. God has only commendation for them and no complaint. Though faithful few from the other churches could rapture, those churches are exhorted to repent and truly hear what the Spirit is saying to the 7 churches.
I personally am secure in my relationship with Christ and am sold out, growing in grace and knowledge and I pray with out ceasing and daily for all the saints. As a fruit inspector, all my christian friends and associates are sold out to Jesus. It is my neighbor (in this city or that city) who needs to hear the truth about Jesus, and it is unloving to withhold the truth from them.
The angel of the church of Smyrna commends these believers for travailing through great suffering and then tribulation persecution for 10 days. What if the 7 year period of the great tribulation actually begins 10 days before the rapture? When Jesus was on this earth, He said He didn't know the day or the hour. What if He knows now because He is ascended? The last book is actually the Revelation of Jesus Christ as given to Him by His Father and revealed to John. Even John, like Daniel, was given revelation he was not to write down. Revelation only for himself from Jesus.
Regardless, I desire to be God's best friend, like John. I know He is my best friend. I desire to Know and Understand, to be Wise and have the Fear of the Lord just as the sevenfold Spirit spoken in Revelations and cross referenced in Isaiah.
I'm getting to know a gal who is not living her life for God and though she is born again and has a head full of knowledge. I explained to her how she might possibly not qualify to be raptured (one of the virgins who did not have adequate oil in their lamp) and would only realize this when it was too late to repent and re-establish her relationship by giving Jesus all her devotion. The words coming out of my mouth were stern but loving, serious yet full of hope and encouragement. It's not yet too late for her to repent. Today is the day of salvation.
All God had against the church of Ephesus was they lost their first love. Could it be they will have to remain for the great time of testing for all who dwell upon the earth during the great tribulation unless they repent and be restored? Know anyone who is luke warm? Yikes!! They could definitely be playing Russian Roulette with their chances to be spared from that terrible day. What if many who have their name written in the lamb's book of life will fail to qualify and will have the eyes of their understanding opened only to see it when it is too late? Which of the 7 churches are you personally a member of? What about that person in your life whom you know would benefit from this warning? Is your love for God real enough to warn them? Unless they repent, they may have to endure until the end to be saved.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Becoming Uncluttered
I don't have to go through nook and cranny at our house to see the extra stuff that needs a good home. Love INC gets linens for the Linen Closet, and also some excellent condition books and nick knacks for their Gift Closet, and the Kitchen Closet at Love INC gets dishes and sundry utensils. Nice clothes to Calvary Chapel for their clothing drive and Vina Moses gets everything else. Furniture share is destined to receive the extra furniture we don't need but those items are in the garage needing to be unburied first. And that doesn't even address anything Tom has accumulated over the past 25 years. And we have a fully furnished house in Lincoln City to pack and move. If I would focus on one room at a time it will be less overwhelming. And if I do some every week it will progress satisfactorily. Clothing first as the Drive is this weekend.
My relationship with Jesus used to feel this way. Little issues would not get addressed timely and accumulated to the unbearable, times spent with Him were sporadic, prayer was offered when I became desperate and my christian walk felt cluttered. It didn't matter what good stuff I did or good christian books I read, if I didn't keep my life cleaned up, keep short accounts and meet with Him in the cool of the day regularly. I would dry up and become lifeless, without joy.
It is amazing how I am benefiting from allocating the clutter in my home, I am naturally simplifying my walk with God.
If Jesus returns like a flash of lightening in the sky and we are raised up to meet Him (raptured?) What will any of my stuff matter. He takes care of me until then. He doesn't need my assets, IRA, stock portfolio or stuff to take care of me during these last days. I expect Him to raise the dead and rain manna from heaven for those in His sanctuary because buying and selling will not be an option. I believe the year 2012 will represent earthly changes so severe that that is the reason the Mayan calendar only goes to 2012. Who knows. The Holy Spirit knows and He is able to open the eyes of anyone who has eyes to see in order to reveal mysteries in the Word, prophesies fulfilled and announce the arrival of the season of the last age.
My life is bound to become more simple and less weighed down. He is requiring that of me. I feel the sense of urgency to be ready for the events soon to come upon us. Come quickly Lord Jesus. Come.
My relationship with Jesus used to feel this way. Little issues would not get addressed timely and accumulated to the unbearable, times spent with Him were sporadic, prayer was offered when I became desperate and my christian walk felt cluttered. It didn't matter what good stuff I did or good christian books I read, if I didn't keep my life cleaned up, keep short accounts and meet with Him in the cool of the day regularly. I would dry up and become lifeless, without joy.
It is amazing how I am benefiting from allocating the clutter in my home, I am naturally simplifying my walk with God.
If Jesus returns like a flash of lightening in the sky and we are raised up to meet Him (raptured?) What will any of my stuff matter. He takes care of me until then. He doesn't need my assets, IRA, stock portfolio or stuff to take care of me during these last days. I expect Him to raise the dead and rain manna from heaven for those in His sanctuary because buying and selling will not be an option. I believe the year 2012 will represent earthly changes so severe that that is the reason the Mayan calendar only goes to 2012. Who knows. The Holy Spirit knows and He is able to open the eyes of anyone who has eyes to see in order to reveal mysteries in the Word, prophesies fulfilled and announce the arrival of the season of the last age.
My life is bound to become more simple and less weighed down. He is requiring that of me. I feel the sense of urgency to be ready for the events soon to come upon us. Come quickly Lord Jesus. Come.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
God Is Good
God assured me He is willing to work in the heart of another if I am willing to pray. I am grateful to see some maturity blossoming in my walk with Him and my prayers with Him. I am also recognizing why it takes so long for Him to answer some prayers. He would love to bless me with instantaneous results but then it would indicate I was praying rightly and not praying amiss.
"You have not because you ask not." About 5 months ago I began to ask God what that really meant because I was attributing it only to petitions. I have since come to believe is refers to all questions that come up during my day, or that I can think of. For example, asking what a specific verse means. Or, how will I know what I am to do? Where, how, what do You want me to change. How or what should I be seeking. What do You want to do with my day? Why did You call me to nursing and then pull the rug out from under me? One day I asked Him how to pronounce the place Illyricum. He gave me a pronunciation that works for me so if I ever need to read that passage out loud, I can read it without hesitation or stammering to try and figure out how to say it.
It seems, my passion to know and understand is paying off when I realize how it compels me to seek Him for the interpretation or for understanding. No question is too small or dumb. So, I am beginning to ask Him a lot of questions. He smiles a lot at me. And our relationship is growing.
"You have not because you ask not." About 5 months ago I began to ask God what that really meant because I was attributing it only to petitions. I have since come to believe is refers to all questions that come up during my day, or that I can think of. For example, asking what a specific verse means. Or, how will I know what I am to do? Where, how, what do You want me to change. How or what should I be seeking. What do You want to do with my day? Why did You call me to nursing and then pull the rug out from under me? One day I asked Him how to pronounce the place Illyricum. He gave me a pronunciation that works for me so if I ever need to read that passage out loud, I can read it without hesitation or stammering to try and figure out how to say it.
It seems, my passion to know and understand is paying off when I realize how it compels me to seek Him for the interpretation or for understanding. No question is too small or dumb. So, I am beginning to ask Him a lot of questions. He smiles a lot at me. And our relationship is growing.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Effective Prayer
I know I can think too little of Father God and the Holy Spirit. I have been committed to practicing honesty as I stand before the Lord. I continue to pray for the heart of a child. I often have to confess pride or a lack of trust in Him, and then I pray, "Lord, help me in my unbelief." That type of simple honesty with myself and Jesus has been very healthy for my walk with Him. But the prayer that I hear occasionally at prayer meeting is one of pomp and pretense which negatively affects the whole group. Whether any one individual realizes it or not, many drift out of the presence of God. I feel it first with myself and then it is apparent with others in the group.
It seems the next couple prayers offered are weak or also religious sounding. I sigh a quick prayer for help and recently even prayed out loud, "Father God, help us to pray as You want us to pray and ask what You want us to ask." Then prayer picks up again and the saints pray petitions as one who stands before the Lord.
Recently, I sense I am to say something to a particular brother. Though all will have to be very clear and sure before I do. But when he prays, I invariably, and almost immediately, am jolted into my little space and out of the Holy of Holies.
I have been praying for this individual since our week of prayer and fasting. I have spoken a word of encouragement to him that I finally felt sure it was what Father God had for me to give to him but it got worse. A couple days ago, this brother in the Lord read from Scripture, "Search me oh God and know my heart." I don't remember if he prayed beyond that but it has become my prayer for him to see how he hides his pride and unbelief behind this pious religiosity.
I am afraid my flesh would enjoy saying something savory to this brother so I keep to myself. I am getting to the place where I am wanting him set free from this blind spot and not care so much for him to change so I wouldn't have to endure his dead prayers. For his sake, it would be best for me to genuinely care about him and start praying God use someone else to help him recognize the shortcoming but that could just be a cop out. In the meantime, I continue to pray for him and keep my mouth shut.
My soul, seek God while He may be found and listen not to the lies of the enemy. Trust God with the heart of a child and believe Him. My soul, think not too little of our creator. Give Him a chance to prove Himself mighty on my behalf. It is time to lay hold of all He has for me in the authority vested in me by Jesus. May I represent Him well and use the gifts He has given me to His glory and not shy away from speaking the truth in love. An honest wound inflicted in love is better than cowardly disobeying God. I am still hoping He will take care of it without me speaking a word. I shall stand firm in my resolve.
It seems the next couple prayers offered are weak or also religious sounding. I sigh a quick prayer for help and recently even prayed out loud, "Father God, help us to pray as You want us to pray and ask what You want us to ask." Then prayer picks up again and the saints pray petitions as one who stands before the Lord.
Recently, I sense I am to say something to a particular brother. Though all will have to be very clear and sure before I do. But when he prays, I invariably, and almost immediately, am jolted into my little space and out of the Holy of Holies.
I have been praying for this individual since our week of prayer and fasting. I have spoken a word of encouragement to him that I finally felt sure it was what Father God had for me to give to him but it got worse. A couple days ago, this brother in the Lord read from Scripture, "Search me oh God and know my heart." I don't remember if he prayed beyond that but it has become my prayer for him to see how he hides his pride and unbelief behind this pious religiosity.
I am afraid my flesh would enjoy saying something savory to this brother so I keep to myself. I am getting to the place where I am wanting him set free from this blind spot and not care so much for him to change so I wouldn't have to endure his dead prayers. For his sake, it would be best for me to genuinely care about him and start praying God use someone else to help him recognize the shortcoming but that could just be a cop out. In the meantime, I continue to pray for him and keep my mouth shut.
My soul, seek God while He may be found and listen not to the lies of the enemy. Trust God with the heart of a child and believe Him. My soul, think not too little of our creator. Give Him a chance to prove Himself mighty on my behalf. It is time to lay hold of all He has for me in the authority vested in me by Jesus. May I represent Him well and use the gifts He has given me to His glory and not shy away from speaking the truth in love. An honest wound inflicted in love is better than cowardly disobeying God. I am still hoping He will take care of it without me speaking a word. I shall stand firm in my resolve.
Friday, June 5, 2009
A Great Flood and Torential Rains Coming
About 4 years ago, God told me a great flood was coming to the Willamette Valley and mighty torrential rains. In my immaturity, I thought this meant an actual precipitation (water) flood. I was just reacquainting myself with God after repenting of telling God, "I quit!" 8 years prior. I turned my back on God but His plans for me had not been thwarted. This was the most terrible time in my life.
Yesterday, when we experienced the sudden onset of the tiny torrential downpour and spots of flash flooding throughout the Willamette Valley, I saw how an actual flood was very easily possible. If torrential rains came down simultaneously throughout the whole Willamette Valley, and they lasted more than 20 minutes, the water table would immediately begin to rise. Years ago, I envisioned the rain so terrible it would be impossible to drive through and motorists would be stranded in their cars. The waters could rise so fast everyone would be caught off guard and unprepared. I have been keeping my eyes open for cheep life jackets (due to my budget limitations) but I haven't come across any. I did receive an inflatable raft (free) last year but have yet to make sure it inflates and doesn't leak.
I mentioned in a previous blog of meeting Diane from Georgia this week. Well, I met John, her husband after prayer offering this morning. Our visit confirmed many things for me regarding how I believe God is preparing the leaders of Calvary Chapel Corvallis for the great flood of repentance that is coming. God is equipping His saints throughout the valley to be ready to receive these new converts, many from off the streets and also those who are coming down from high (haughty) places. Some are saints who are reconnecting with God, repenting of bitterness toward Him and/or an apathetic spirit.
An organization, Love INC (In The Name of Christ), will be very instrumental in uniting the local (Lynn/Benton Counties) God fearing churches. My prayer for unity of the saints is: All the local pastors will lock their arms and form a hedge of protection for the whole flock of Jesus' saints.
I am still inclined to think this prophesy could represent both a water flood and a great flood of repentance. Regardless, I am open to be prepared for anything God has in store for me during this last and final terrible age.
In answer to a question I had, God used Diane to remind me that 'martyr' meant 'witness' and I will be the best martyr He calls me to be, by His grace, even unto the death.
Yesterday, when we experienced the sudden onset of the tiny torrential downpour and spots of flash flooding throughout the Willamette Valley, I saw how an actual flood was very easily possible. If torrential rains came down simultaneously throughout the whole Willamette Valley, and they lasted more than 20 minutes, the water table would immediately begin to rise. Years ago, I envisioned the rain so terrible it would be impossible to drive through and motorists would be stranded in their cars. The waters could rise so fast everyone would be caught off guard and unprepared. I have been keeping my eyes open for cheep life jackets (due to my budget limitations) but I haven't come across any. I did receive an inflatable raft (free) last year but have yet to make sure it inflates and doesn't leak.
I mentioned in a previous blog of meeting Diane from Georgia this week. Well, I met John, her husband after prayer offering this morning. Our visit confirmed many things for me regarding how I believe God is preparing the leaders of Calvary Chapel Corvallis for the great flood of repentance that is coming. God is equipping His saints throughout the valley to be ready to receive these new converts, many from off the streets and also those who are coming down from high (haughty) places. Some are saints who are reconnecting with God, repenting of bitterness toward Him and/or an apathetic spirit.
An organization, Love INC (In The Name of Christ), will be very instrumental in uniting the local (Lynn/Benton Counties) God fearing churches. My prayer for unity of the saints is: All the local pastors will lock their arms and form a hedge of protection for the whole flock of Jesus' saints.
I am still inclined to think this prophesy could represent both a water flood and a great flood of repentance. Regardless, I am open to be prepared for anything God has in store for me during this last and final terrible age.
In answer to a question I had, God used Diane to remind me that 'martyr' meant 'witness' and I will be the best martyr He calls me to be, by His grace, even unto the death.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Suicide On The Rise
A friend called the other day because she had just heard of a friend of mine who had committed suicide a couple months ago by hanging herself from her poster bed. I had already learned of the tragedy shortly after it occured. Tom had to break the news to our 19 year old daughter, Jamie, because she adored Christine.
Tom and I are news junkies (well, he is, and I eavesdrop with the TV on in the background most of the time). Today, several suicides were reported in the local news. Then, I learn of Charlene's precious cousin who committed suicide. The evidences of being in the last days is escalating as quickly as I have anticipated. There is so much need for desperate prayer and extreme faith.
I met Diane yesterday. She and her husband left Georgia 4 months ago, leaving nothing behind, and setting out with their 3 children on a mission from God. They have prophetic gifting and her husband identifies with Jeremiah, The Weeping Prophet. So many confirmations are continuing to arise and there seems to be a convergence of like mindedness on the part of God's people. When the congregations of other bible believing fellowships in our community unite together in one accord, with one voice, and one desperate purpose, the out flowing of the Holy Spirit will arrive.
We are seeking holiness through repentance of sin, desperation in prayer for all the Saints and proclaiming the good news to everyone God puts in our path. I proclaim, without reservation, that the days of the end of the age are upon us. It is still the beginning of many, many horrific days; where many others whose lives have touched our own, will commit suicide. Jesus is our anchor and prayer is a great responsibility. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty for the tearing down of strongholds. May we wield the Sword of the Spirit of Truth with precision and great effectiveness for the glory of God and the fulfillment of His great commission given to us.
May the peace of God reign in our hearts, whether we weep and mourn loss or rejoice in new life. May His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Come Lord Jesus. Come. Come quickly.
Tom and I are news junkies (well, he is, and I eavesdrop with the TV on in the background most of the time). Today, several suicides were reported in the local news. Then, I learn of Charlene's precious cousin who committed suicide. The evidences of being in the last days is escalating as quickly as I have anticipated. There is so much need for desperate prayer and extreme faith.
I met Diane yesterday. She and her husband left Georgia 4 months ago, leaving nothing behind, and setting out with their 3 children on a mission from God. They have prophetic gifting and her husband identifies with Jeremiah, The Weeping Prophet. So many confirmations are continuing to arise and there seems to be a convergence of like mindedness on the part of God's people. When the congregations of other bible believing fellowships in our community unite together in one accord, with one voice, and one desperate purpose, the out flowing of the Holy Spirit will arrive.
We are seeking holiness through repentance of sin, desperation in prayer for all the Saints and proclaiming the good news to everyone God puts in our path. I proclaim, without reservation, that the days of the end of the age are upon us. It is still the beginning of many, many horrific days; where many others whose lives have touched our own, will commit suicide. Jesus is our anchor and prayer is a great responsibility. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty for the tearing down of strongholds. May we wield the Sword of the Spirit of Truth with precision and great effectiveness for the glory of God and the fulfillment of His great commission given to us.
May the peace of God reign in our hearts, whether we weep and mourn loss or rejoice in new life. May His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Come Lord Jesus. Come. Come quickly.
Monday, May 25, 2009
The Best About Birthdays
I just turned 53 and the best part of my day was reflecting on how another year is past and will never need to be relived ever again. I am that much closer to heaven. I checked out the Internet about the San Diego Home Fellowship Bible Study that is under scrutiny of the Government of being required to get a Multi-Purpose Permit. I am excited to hear of these events because it is confirming the imminence of the dark times that are approaching and will escalate to greater darkness than ever known before upon the face of this earth.
Many will lose heart and wonder where God is and why He is silent and tolerating such horrific suffering of his beloved children. These days must come. It is predicted. But, many will curse God and desire to roll over and die. Others will experience the miracles of Hebrews 11, receiving their dead back to life and being delivered from prison and martyrdom as in the days of the Acts of the Apostles. Others will suffer greatly at the hands of evil and the host of God's terrible army. Though I hope to see miracle upon miracle, I expect my life will end in martyrdom, whatever that may look like. When God told me on January 25th of this year that: "For such a day as this I called you to nursing." I have known the days of the return of the Son of Man is fast upon us and time is counting down. I do not expect to live or be alive beyond the year 2012. This has given me a great resolve to how I put my life in order and the priorities I choose on a daily basis. It also makes facing any suffering as momentary light afflictions. At age 53, three years is a very short period of time to endure as the earth continues to groan in the pains of it's own suffering.
I prepare daily to face my mortality and frailty as a human and the supernatural grace of His calling upon my life. I am empowered with boldness that speaks the name of Jesus to many who have only known the worship of Mary. I speak with boldness the comments of, "Jesus loves you and He is returning very soon. Get ready. Repent. The days approaching are terrible. Get yourself connected with other God-fearing believers so you may be able to survive the terrible days ahead. Remember, no matter how difficult life becomes, Jesus loves you. He is coming soon and His eyes are aflame with fire. Make yourself ready to face that terrible and awesome Day Of The Lord.
Many will lose heart and wonder where God is and why He is silent and tolerating such horrific suffering of his beloved children. These days must come. It is predicted. But, many will curse God and desire to roll over and die. Others will experience the miracles of Hebrews 11, receiving their dead back to life and being delivered from prison and martyrdom as in the days of the Acts of the Apostles. Others will suffer greatly at the hands of evil and the host of God's terrible army. Though I hope to see miracle upon miracle, I expect my life will end in martyrdom, whatever that may look like. When God told me on January 25th of this year that: "For such a day as this I called you to nursing." I have known the days of the return of the Son of Man is fast upon us and time is counting down. I do not expect to live or be alive beyond the year 2012. This has given me a great resolve to how I put my life in order and the priorities I choose on a daily basis. It also makes facing any suffering as momentary light afflictions. At age 53, three years is a very short period of time to endure as the earth continues to groan in the pains of it's own suffering.
I prepare daily to face my mortality and frailty as a human and the supernatural grace of His calling upon my life. I am empowered with boldness that speaks the name of Jesus to many who have only known the worship of Mary. I speak with boldness the comments of, "Jesus loves you and He is returning very soon. Get ready. Repent. The days approaching are terrible. Get yourself connected with other God-fearing believers so you may be able to survive the terrible days ahead. Remember, no matter how difficult life becomes, Jesus loves you. He is coming soon and His eyes are aflame with fire. Make yourself ready to face that terrible and awesome Day Of The Lord.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
TAKE IT BY FORCE
"From the days of John the Baptist, until now, the Kingdom of God suffers violence and violent men take it by force." Matthew 11:12
Called
I have experienced Father God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit on all the different relational levels possible for man. Part of this is because I have had to. By most definitions, I have led a very lonely life, yet I seldom feel lonely. In fact, I rather prefer to be alone for it is then that I am more acutely aware of His presence and able to hear His voice. I have known for years that most people consider me "odd" or just no fun to be around. At 18, my earthly father said to me, "You are so serious," and I started to cry. I couldn't help it. I am unable to be much different than serious. As painful and unhappy as my childhood and adulthood has been, I can honestly say, "I am happy in Jesus."
God gave me a compelling drive to know and understand the meaning of life and it's mysteries. It has driven me since my earliest memories as a child. Remember, I dubbed myself: Queen Know It All?
Along with this drive, some of the bizarre realities of my life surround the fact I was 'called' (regardless of any lack of pitter patter romantic feelings) to marry my husband. Tom has an amazing prophetic gift. He is an encourager. And, he has a broken heart.
It started to become clear to me about a year ago that God allows me to "feel His heart." This has helped me to accept my seriousness and lack of merriment. My motto has always been: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."
Of all the feelings God has in His heart during these last days, merriment is not one of the prevalent feelings. He knows the pain and suffering each saint has had to endure. He feels with each broken heart, He understands the trials and tribulations of these last days. He sees the distruction and decay of sin and the evil one. I have had a minuscule taste of God's feeling of wrath.
I must discipline myself to imagine the overwhelming experience and display of joy and merriment from the heart of Father God as He presents us as the Bride to His Son.
This feeling of merriment, in it's exquisite wonder, is beyond my natural imagination. I only know it by faith as wonderful. Just as He has nurtured my imagination of the wonderment of heaven, I shall begin to pray he reveals the wonderment of His merry heart.
God gave me a compelling drive to know and understand the meaning of life and it's mysteries. It has driven me since my earliest memories as a child. Remember, I dubbed myself: Queen Know It All?
Along with this drive, some of the bizarre realities of my life surround the fact I was 'called' (regardless of any lack of pitter patter romantic feelings) to marry my husband. Tom has an amazing prophetic gift. He is an encourager. And, he has a broken heart.
It started to become clear to me about a year ago that God allows me to "feel His heart." This has helped me to accept my seriousness and lack of merriment. My motto has always been: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."
Of all the feelings God has in His heart during these last days, merriment is not one of the prevalent feelings. He knows the pain and suffering each saint has had to endure. He feels with each broken heart, He understands the trials and tribulations of these last days. He sees the distruction and decay of sin and the evil one. I have had a minuscule taste of God's feeling of wrath.
I must discipline myself to imagine the overwhelming experience and display of joy and merriment from the heart of Father God as He presents us as the Bride to His Son.
This feeling of merriment, in it's exquisite wonder, is beyond my natural imagination. I only know it by faith as wonderful. Just as He has nurtured my imagination of the wonderment of heaven, I shall begin to pray he reveals the wonderment of His merry heart.
Serve God Or Mammon.
Mammon is the God of this world. I have heard mammon defined as money or the currency of exchange for goods and services. Though I believe this is true, I also believe it is insufficient as to define mammon. Having said that, I have been pondering the current events with our world wide bank problems. I have known for a few years the involvement of organized crime in banking and the perpetuation of debt. The results are oppression (slavery) through credit card debt and predatory lending. They exploit, extort and increase their wealth through paper shuffling (buying and selling loans back and forth amongst themselves). They legitimized ways to launder their money. And the ill gotten gain has become increasingly prolific as their families grew and grew along with the rest of our population. They institute laws to protect the illegalities of their grotesque accrual of assets. Yesterday I heard on the news of the majority of middle class Americans losing an average of 40% of their 401k savings plans. Well, these predatory lenders and credit card loan sharks of today implemented over 100 different fees and penalties (sleeper fine print) to these 401k savings plans and voila...instant capitol gain for the evil one. The natural progression of events is clearly the institution of a one world economic "bank" system.
We have been enslaved to this world system of mammon!
And our Deliverer is coming quickly!
We have been enslaved to this world system of mammon!
And our Deliverer is coming quickly!
The Deliverer Is Coming !
The Jews prayed for 400 years for the Deliverer to come. He arrived right on schedule according to the perfect plan of God and Moses' life was designed perfectly to fulfill the good purposes of God.
I have been praying through something for 23 years and I do not doubt God has heard me. I know I have been praying according to the will of God and I am not praying amiss.
Though, I am ashamed to admit the frequency in which I have doubted the goodness, omnipotence and sovereignty of God.
A few months ago, I heard God say, "Contend with Me."
I asked Him, "How do I contend with the Almighty God?"
"Contend with Me for your family." was His reply.
The message of the importunate prayer came through loud and clear: Pray and keep on praying. Pray believing. Pray in the authority of Jesus. Pray with honesty. And, pray through my questions in confidence (not the same as doubts) .
I understand prayer as I understand the Almighty, Holy God. I pray for understanding.
I understand the requirement of obedience to the practice of prayer. I have been trained by years of travailing in prayer. It may be said, I have not seen "The Deliverer" with my own eyes, but I have seen the powerful effects diligent prayer has had on changing me and giving me understanding. Don't get me wrong, I know my flesh; my laziness and unbelief, but God sees Carmen, the prayer warrior, through The Blood of Jesus. Believe me, I repent often. Not a day has gone by, for at least the past week, I have not tearfully said to God, "I can't do this anymore," or "I am weary," or "How long will You tarry?" etc.
Though I do not understand all the ways of God or prayer, it is important I do not call God a liar by giving up in travailing through prayer until the day I hear Him say, "My Grace is sufficient for thee."
I have been praying through something for 23 years and I do not doubt God has heard me. I know I have been praying according to the will of God and I am not praying amiss.
Though, I am ashamed to admit the frequency in which I have doubted the goodness, omnipotence and sovereignty of God.
A few months ago, I heard God say, "Contend with Me."
I asked Him, "How do I contend with the Almighty God?"
"Contend with Me for your family." was His reply.
The message of the importunate prayer came through loud and clear: Pray and keep on praying. Pray believing. Pray in the authority of Jesus. Pray with honesty. And, pray through my questions in confidence (not the same as doubts) .
I understand prayer as I understand the Almighty, Holy God. I pray for understanding.
I understand the requirement of obedience to the practice of prayer. I have been trained by years of travailing in prayer. It may be said, I have not seen "The Deliverer" with my own eyes, but I have seen the powerful effects diligent prayer has had on changing me and giving me understanding. Don't get me wrong, I know my flesh; my laziness and unbelief, but God sees Carmen, the prayer warrior, through The Blood of Jesus. Believe me, I repent often. Not a day has gone by, for at least the past week, I have not tearfully said to God, "I can't do this anymore," or "I am weary," or "How long will You tarry?" etc.
Though I do not understand all the ways of God or prayer, it is important I do not call God a liar by giving up in travailing through prayer until the day I hear Him say, "My Grace is sufficient for thee."
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Healing and Merriment of the Heart
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. "
"Guard your heart with all diligence for from it flows the issues of life."
"Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is just whatever is right, think on these things."
This blog is short because of this subject I am very ignorant.
"Guard your heart with all diligence for from it flows the issues of life."
"Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is just whatever is right, think on these things."
This blog is short because of this subject I am very ignorant.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
War Is Violent
Someone prayed in prayer meeting this morning that the Christians on the periphery would choose to enter the battle. I wanted to cry out: "They are already in the midst of it." They may be hemorrhaging in varying degrees from fear, despair, anxiety, worry, self-pity, guilt and condemnation, apathy, hatred, oppression, greed, pride and sinful lusts or unbelief. We are at war!! This is not a choice. Whether within our members or against the deceiver, we are in a violent battle.
I have always known myself as an odd person. I am comfortable in my own skin. I have always practiced transparency. When I'm happy you know it. When I am sorrowful you know it. I am quick to confess my sin to someone if I believe it would cause healing for either them or me. I live in a state of frequent, active, brutal warfare. WE CHOOSE TO PUT ON THE FULL ARMOR OF GOD or lie as a victim of war: beaten down, crushed, oppressed, begging for help, numb or full of rage from the years of torment and torture as a prisoner of war.
I know what it is like to be a prisoner of war and be like fodder for the enemy. I was a saint who at one time shook her fist at God and said, "I quit! I do not want to play this game with you anymore." I entertaining the notion I could "check-out" of the battle through suicide. After coming to my senses, I pleaded with God never to let me go to that place again.
Paul suffered many things at the hand of God. But he fought the good fight, he ran the race to win, he persevered and pressed on toward the upward calling of the Lord Jesus Christ.
David suffered as God's anointed.
Abraham believed God. How? After suffering from his self preserving ways of unbelief, then getting to the other side with hind sight vision to see the goodness and faithfulness of God.
I have been trying to use any behaviors of unbelief as a barometer to indicate what part of my armor I am not protected by. Or if I am not wielding the sword of The Spirit of Truth, even if just to block fatal blows. Or if I am neglecting to hold up the shield of faith for protection from the fiery darts.
In conclusion, I will call upon the LORD. He is worthy to be praised. The Lord lives and blessed be my rock and blessed be the God of my salvation.
I have always known myself as an odd person. I am comfortable in my own skin. I have always practiced transparency. When I'm happy you know it. When I am sorrowful you know it. I am quick to confess my sin to someone if I believe it would cause healing for either them or me. I live in a state of frequent, active, brutal warfare. WE CHOOSE TO PUT ON THE FULL ARMOR OF GOD or lie as a victim of war: beaten down, crushed, oppressed, begging for help, numb or full of rage from the years of torment and torture as a prisoner of war.
I know what it is like to be a prisoner of war and be like fodder for the enemy. I was a saint who at one time shook her fist at God and said, "I quit! I do not want to play this game with you anymore." I entertaining the notion I could "check-out" of the battle through suicide. After coming to my senses, I pleaded with God never to let me go to that place again.
Paul suffered many things at the hand of God. But he fought the good fight, he ran the race to win, he persevered and pressed on toward the upward calling of the Lord Jesus Christ.
David suffered as God's anointed.
Abraham believed God. How? After suffering from his self preserving ways of unbelief, then getting to the other side with hind sight vision to see the goodness and faithfulness of God.
I have been trying to use any behaviors of unbelief as a barometer to indicate what part of my armor I am not protected by. Or if I am not wielding the sword of The Spirit of Truth, even if just to block fatal blows. Or if I am neglecting to hold up the shield of faith for protection from the fiery darts.
In conclusion, I will call upon the LORD. He is worthy to be praised. The Lord lives and blessed be my rock and blessed be the God of my salvation.
The Kingdom Of God Suffers Violence
"From the days of John the Baptist, until now, the Kingdom of God suffers violence..." Mt 11:12a
It is important we embrace the full truth of the Word of God even if it is difficult for us to understand. We are in a gravely violent war! THE LIFE AND WELL BEING OF EVERY SOUL IS AT STAKE.
There is no question in my mind the Kingdom of God suffers violence AND TODAY IS THE DAY OF SALVATION! Remember my first blog: Satan Tried To Take Me Out.
Pray for all the saints! The lives of many upon this earth need to be SOZO'd (saved, healed, delivered) for the Kingdom of God.
"...and violent men take it by force." Mt 11:12b This part of the verse I continue to pray over for understanding.
STAND. FIGHT. OR EXPECT TO HEMORRHAGE.
It is important we embrace the full truth of the Word of God even if it is difficult for us to understand. We are in a gravely violent war! THE LIFE AND WELL BEING OF EVERY SOUL IS AT STAKE.
There is no question in my mind the Kingdom of God suffers violence AND TODAY IS THE DAY OF SALVATION! Remember my first blog: Satan Tried To Take Me Out.
Pray for all the saints! The lives of many upon this earth need to be SOZO'd (saved, healed, delivered) for the Kingdom of God.
"...and violent men take it by force." Mt 11:12b This part of the verse I continue to pray over for understanding.
STAND. FIGHT. OR EXPECT TO HEMORRHAGE.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Corpse and Vultures:
"Wherever the corpse is, there the vultures will gather." Matthew 24:28
The return of The Son of Man will be unquestionably obvious! The saints who are familiar with this chapter will not be deceived or lured into the dens of the living dead. Jesus is giving this as a warning because the anti-Christ will come performing great signs and wonders.
I am preparing (gearing up) for the likelihood there is much tribulation to come before we are raptured. I don't want to assume one thing and then not have enough oil in my lamp.
Therefore, I walk clothed in The Blood of The Lamb, I speak the Word of God to my own soul and to anyone around me who will listen and I pray for the mindset of a martyr to endure to the end.
Pray for all the saints who are over the face of the whole earth that they may grow in the grace and knowledge of The Holy Scriptures, our Savior: Jesus.
The return of The Son of Man will be unquestionably obvious! The saints who are familiar with this chapter will not be deceived or lured into the dens of the living dead. Jesus is giving this as a warning because the anti-Christ will come performing great signs and wonders.
I am preparing (gearing up) for the likelihood there is much tribulation to come before we are raptured. I don't want to assume one thing and then not have enough oil in my lamp.
Therefore, I walk clothed in The Blood of The Lamb, I speak the Word of God to my own soul and to anyone around me who will listen and I pray for the mindset of a martyr to endure to the end.
Pray for all the saints who are over the face of the whole earth that they may grow in the grace and knowledge of The Holy Scriptures, our Savior: Jesus.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Queen Know It All
I became aware that an old familiar attitude prevailed in one of my conversations yesterday. It is the "I know-it-all" attitude of one who speaks with authority about something when she knows nothing. I am so compelled to 'know' and 'understand' the things that I deem important I can hardly stand myself sometimes. I often walk away from conversations chiding myself for some know-it-all comment I made. Well, I am finally asking God about the whys and wherefores of this ugly habit. I am asking Him for understanding for the renewing of my mind against this distorted image. I haven't heard His answer yet, so until I do I dub myself: 'Queen Know It All'. By His grace I will replace this habit with the true image that He sees of me in Christ. I want the focus of my conversations with others to glorify Him and not to be a stumbling block, tempting others to think on things that are not lovely.
I await in anticipation of what He will show me because I'm off to the Word for my treasure hunt. I am excavating for wisdom and understanding of the uniqueness of my gift of discernment. Funny, I didn't even consider I had this gift until about 4 months ago when Pastor Rob asked, "Do you have the gift of discernment?"
"Me? No. I don't have that gift!" Well, it got me thinking and asking God a lot of questions. I still know very little about discernment as a spiritual gift. I didn't realize why so many God fearing believers couldn't understand me or why I felt their rejection so often. For example, sometimes Father God allows me to 'feel' His heart with a glimpse of one of His many different feelings. Or, I may be aware of a demon here, and then one there, and recognizing the scheme they devised. This experience is normal for me but I am starting to understand why I am often considered odd or 'way out there'. I was so blind not to see how I thought everyone needed to be aware of what I see.
My husband has lived with me for almost 24 years. He is the most gracious person of anyone I have ever met.
Father, may we be good stewards of the gifts You bestow on us, with wisdom and understanding, as a people who stand before You unashamed.
I await in anticipation of what He will show me because I'm off to the Word for my treasure hunt. I am excavating for wisdom and understanding of the uniqueness of my gift of discernment. Funny, I didn't even consider I had this gift until about 4 months ago when Pastor Rob asked, "Do you have the gift of discernment?"
"Me? No. I don't have that gift!" Well, it got me thinking and asking God a lot of questions. I still know very little about discernment as a spiritual gift. I didn't realize why so many God fearing believers couldn't understand me or why I felt their rejection so often. For example, sometimes Father God allows me to 'feel' His heart with a glimpse of one of His many different feelings. Or, I may be aware of a demon here, and then one there, and recognizing the scheme they devised. This experience is normal for me but I am starting to understand why I am often considered odd or 'way out there'. I was so blind not to see how I thought everyone needed to be aware of what I see.
My husband has lived with me for almost 24 years. He is the most gracious person of anyone I have ever met.
Father, may we be good stewards of the gifts You bestow on us, with wisdom and understanding, as a people who stand before You unashamed.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Having Authority As One Under Authority
My mind keeps racing with thoughts of my last post. Since such a great price was paid for my freedom, I am compelled to meditate on the work of the cross at Calvary and what that price cost Jesus, Father God and His Holy Spirit. One concept that has been paramount in my meditations over the months has been AUTHORITY. Jesus paid such a great price so I now have authority as one under His authority. What does that look like for me? How do I insure full utilization and execution of that authority. I heard meekness defined as: Strength under control. As under authority- submission: The position of influence. These are my meditations.
I remember asking my earthy father, when I was just out of high school, "What kind of man am I going to have to marry? One who is a wimp that I walk all over OR one who is so powerful that he bops me on the head when I get out of line?" My earthly father's wise response was: "Honey, you will just have to respect him enough to submit to him." WOW! Not bad from a non-church going/ accepted Jesus at 4 yrs old/ nonbeliever, huh?
Well, food for thought about Authority and Submission. He has given His angels charge over us. How would we know and walk in that knowledge and authority if we don't grip our 5 digits around the hilt of The Sword of Truth daily?
1. Know The Word
2. Live The Word
3. Ponder The Word
4. Speak The Word
5. Pray The Word
Don't get caught unprotected. Put on the full armor of God.
THOUGHT: Being on call at all times, we need to wear the full armor to bed, for while we sleep, in case we are awakened suddenly in the night for battle.
We have authority as one under authority. May we dwell in the shelter of The Most High and take upon ourselves His yoke; to stand firm, hold fast, resist the devil, fight the good fight, run the race to win and endure to the end.
I remember asking my earthy father, when I was just out of high school, "What kind of man am I going to have to marry? One who is a wimp that I walk all over OR one who is so powerful that he bops me on the head when I get out of line?" My earthly father's wise response was: "Honey, you will just have to respect him enough to submit to him." WOW! Not bad from a non-church going/ accepted Jesus at 4 yrs old/ nonbeliever, huh?
Well, food for thought about Authority and Submission. He has given His angels charge over us. How would we know and walk in that knowledge and authority if we don't grip our 5 digits around the hilt of The Sword of Truth daily?
1. Know The Word
2. Live The Word
3. Ponder The Word
4. Speak The Word
5. Pray The Word
Don't get caught unprotected. Put on the full armor of God.
THOUGHT: Being on call at all times, we need to wear the full armor to bed, for while we sleep, in case we are awakened suddenly in the night for battle.
We have authority as one under authority. May we dwell in the shelter of The Most High and take upon ourselves His yoke; to stand firm, hold fast, resist the devil, fight the good fight, run the race to win and endure to the end.
The Lamb of God & It Pleased The Father To Do So.
I appreciate more than I can express how grateful I am God led me to fellowship and grow in the church of Calvary Chapel- Corvallis. I just finished listening to Pastor Rob's sermon and I enjoy his timely words. They are deeply valued and I know Father God is so pleased. Reflecting on what he said about the high cost of separation and how Adam chose to join his wife in sin rather than be separated from her by that sin. Jesus, on the other hand, chose willingly separation from Father God that He might become a man, born of a woman, to pay the price for that sin (my sin). The greatest evidence of the gravity of what it cost Jesus is in His final 2 cries from the cross. After Jesus said, "It is finished" and "Into Thy hand I commit My Spirit," I always thought (felt) 'He breathed His last,' was the quiet conclusion of His work on the cross but, it was when my ears were opened to hear the extreme intensity and gravity of His cry: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" that I started to feel the magnitude of the price Jesus paid. That moment, He felt complete separation from His Father God. Father God could no longer look upon Jesus and had no choice but to turn His back on His Beloved Son, utterly forsaking Him because of that sin which Father God Himself placed upon Jesus' shoulders. Though Jesus knew no sin, He became sin, thereby, losing all power to escape the consequences of that sin. It had to have been but a moment later that His heart ruptured within His chest cavity, as 'He cried out,' in his anguished pain, 'with a loud cry.' AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! is how I imagine it sounding. I cannot imagine in the least, having just willingly gone through all the pain, suffering and shame leading up to that moment of utter exhaustion; still having the ability to even cry out with an audible voice. The horrific intensity had to have been physically compelling to release such a cry. Then, 'He breathed His last.' His suffering was compounded by the sentencing pronounced upon Jesus to spend the next 3 days in hell to pay the debt (wages) of sin. We are told in the bible that: 'With God, a day is as a thousand years and a thousand years is as a day.' Again, I cannot even imagine. 'And, on the third day, Jesus rose from the dead.'
Lord hear me, may I become quickly aware of my sin, and the separation it causes from the love of Father God, My Beloved Savior and Your Holy Spirit, that I may repent quickly.
Lord hear me, may I become quickly aware of my sin, and the separation it causes from the love of Father God, My Beloved Savior and Your Holy Spirit, that I may repent quickly.
The Fear of The Lord Is the Beginning Of Wisdom.
When God awakened me this morning, this was one of the thoughts He had me meditating on. I am still not aware of all He is wanting me to glean from this truth during this season but these are my first impressions and thoughts I had:
A couple months ago, an evening during the week of fasting, when the women met in the church while the men remained in the chapel, Cindy asked us to speak out sentences of what we were thankful about God. I blurted out, "That He is a righteous judge and will return in His wrath." Deafening awkward silence filled the room before another spoke, "His mercy." Then another, "His forgiveness." And so on. I quietly and confidently asked God for forgiveness because, though my true feelings and my justified gratefulness was real, it was not appropriate to speak out in such a large group of saints who didn't know me or where I was coming from (that precise lack of judgment is precisely why I am no longer an RN to this day). God used that moment to put me into a place of humility so He could impart His heart (His feelings) to me. I began to sob uncontrollably. You know, tears streaming down my face, snot running profusely and the uncontrollable breathing gasps. I felt Cindy's concern immediately and throughout the hour, but all I could do was sob for the broken heart of God. Someone or many in that room were hurting and God was hurting with them though they never got to hear about it. I do fear God and I think it is beyond a great, awesome respect for Him. Though it is not the kind of fear that is associated with punishment, it is a fear that is beyond my comprehension of the 'awfulness' of His Holiness and power. He and He alone is worthy of my fear. I then realized how many of my prayers that are being answered were presented to Him in worship of song through different meetings at church, as well as, while I am alone with Him. Our God is an awesome God. Let my heart break for the things that break Yours. Feeling the feelings of God has been my greatest honor and privilege. This, too, is just one facet of The Fear of The Lord as I have experienced it.
A couple months ago, an evening during the week of fasting, when the women met in the church while the men remained in the chapel, Cindy asked us to speak out sentences of what we were thankful about God. I blurted out, "That He is a righteous judge and will return in His wrath." Deafening awkward silence filled the room before another spoke, "His mercy." Then another, "His forgiveness." And so on. I quietly and confidently asked God for forgiveness because, though my true feelings and my justified gratefulness was real, it was not appropriate to speak out in such a large group of saints who didn't know me or where I was coming from (that precise lack of judgment is precisely why I am no longer an RN to this day). God used that moment to put me into a place of humility so He could impart His heart (His feelings) to me. I began to sob uncontrollably. You know, tears streaming down my face, snot running profusely and the uncontrollable breathing gasps. I felt Cindy's concern immediately and throughout the hour, but all I could do was sob for the broken heart of God. Someone or many in that room were hurting and God was hurting with them though they never got to hear about it. I do fear God and I think it is beyond a great, awesome respect for Him. Though it is not the kind of fear that is associated with punishment, it is a fear that is beyond my comprehension of the 'awfulness' of His Holiness and power. He and He alone is worthy of my fear. I then realized how many of my prayers that are being answered were presented to Him in worship of song through different meetings at church, as well as, while I am alone with Him. Our God is an awesome God. Let my heart break for the things that break Yours. Feeling the feelings of God has been my greatest honor and privilege. This, too, is just one facet of The Fear of The Lord as I have experienced it.
God's Ways Are Not Our Ways.
I am beginning to feel as if my life is back into a grove of familiar sleeping, eating and praying. I am looking forward to attending this morning's prayer offering. Attack hit our fellowship either last evening or this morning because God has me mindful of the warfare.
I was asked one time if I had the gift of discernment and my response was, "Oh, I don't have that gift." Well, since then I am beginning to realize just how different my awareness is from other believers experiences. I began praying about a year ago to be able to hear and recognize Satan's whispers of half truth lies. I didn't want to 'see' him. I heard him described years ago just enough to know that was not a desirable experience.
I have known only 2 seers in all my travels through the years as a christian. One, I met in Texas at Last Days Ministries in 1978, 3-4 years after Keith Green died in his plane crash on their property. Though I do not know what part of the US she may have been from. The other lives in Corvallis and keeps a very low profile. I'll call her 'Sharon' (not her real name).
When 'Sharon' and I met for the first time, about 5 years ago, I sought her out because I was dealing with so much demonic oppression and torment on many levels; in my life, my family and in our house. I heard of her from a mutual friend. We met at a coffee shop downtown. As we talked, she wore a poker player face but (later upon reflection), I could tell she saw unpleasant 'stuff' around me while we sat there. She asked if I would like to pray together and naturally I said, "Yes."
I ran across the street to fetch my sweater as she continued walking toward the riverfront park bench. Upon my return she asked me, "Did you just pray?"
"Well, I told God I was excited to get to pray with you... Why?"
"I saw an aura of light around you." Apparently, this was one of the common things she saw of those in the presence of God. Author's Note: I saw this aura around her once (and the only time I ever saw it) when she performed vocally in town at a small gathering.
She agreed to visit me at my home and afterward confirmed my suspicions but no big deliverance was performed or anything. I knew she would pray. We kept in touch for the next couple months but I have gradually grown in my awareness of the presence of these dark beings and their schemes. I am grateful I do not have to "see" them clearly.
Now I am praying for the gift of discernment to prevail in my life so I am able to be wise with that knowledge when I am made aware of their presence and actions.
I was asked one time if I had the gift of discernment and my response was, "Oh, I don't have that gift." Well, since then I am beginning to realize just how different my awareness is from other believers experiences. I began praying about a year ago to be able to hear and recognize Satan's whispers of half truth lies. I didn't want to 'see' him. I heard him described years ago just enough to know that was not a desirable experience.
I have known only 2 seers in all my travels through the years as a christian. One, I met in Texas at Last Days Ministries in 1978, 3-4 years after Keith Green died in his plane crash on their property. Though I do not know what part of the US she may have been from. The other lives in Corvallis and keeps a very low profile. I'll call her 'Sharon' (not her real name).
When 'Sharon' and I met for the first time, about 5 years ago, I sought her out because I was dealing with so much demonic oppression and torment on many levels; in my life, my family and in our house. I heard of her from a mutual friend. We met at a coffee shop downtown. As we talked, she wore a poker player face but (later upon reflection), I could tell she saw unpleasant 'stuff' around me while we sat there. She asked if I would like to pray together and naturally I said, "Yes."
I ran across the street to fetch my sweater as she continued walking toward the riverfront park bench. Upon my return she asked me, "Did you just pray?"
"Well, I told God I was excited to get to pray with you... Why?"
"I saw an aura of light around you." Apparently, this was one of the common things she saw of those in the presence of God. Author's Note: I saw this aura around her once (and the only time I ever saw it) when she performed vocally in town at a small gathering.
She agreed to visit me at my home and afterward confirmed my suspicions but no big deliverance was performed or anything. I knew she would pray. We kept in touch for the next couple months but I have gradually grown in my awareness of the presence of these dark beings and their schemes. I am grateful I do not have to "see" them clearly.
Now I am praying for the gift of discernment to prevail in my life so I am able to be wise with that knowledge when I am made aware of their presence and actions.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Letting Go
I was able to wear a suede suit the other day that is a memorial for the provision of God. I bought it 3 years ago for $7.50 (not 750 Dollars, 7 dollars and 50 cents). I found it at my favorite second hand store at St Mary's Church. It appeared as if it was tailored for someone who probably wore it only once for a special occasion. The skirt was a size larger than the jacket but fit as if the waist had been taken in, allowing more room for big hips and thighs (like mine!). During another visit to this wonderful store last week, I was able to tell this story to the volunteer, also telling her I gave all my other really nice, expensive ($4-$6 from same store) suits to the Career closet for CARDV, that as I walked in to donate them, there happened to be a small, young woman looking for work suits just that size but not having much success finding that size.
The woman at St. Mary's said, "Letting go of my suits was the hardest." After I left the store, I got the impression from God that she was the woman who had donated all those suits in the first place, just one by one. I am sure she heard the story about the suede suit fitting the gal who bought it 'like a glove.' I felt blessed again in letting go of these nice clothes and I am glad the Lord gave me the grace to hang on to the suede suit as a memorial, even though I wasn't sure I would ever fit into it again.
I want to be a good steward of all my possessions, even the memories.
The woman at St. Mary's said, "Letting go of my suits was the hardest." After I left the store, I got the impression from God that she was the woman who had donated all those suits in the first place, just one by one. I am sure she heard the story about the suede suit fitting the gal who bought it 'like a glove.' I felt blessed again in letting go of these nice clothes and I am glad the Lord gave me the grace to hang on to the suede suit as a memorial, even though I wasn't sure I would ever fit into it again.
I want to be a good steward of all my possessions, even the memories.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
To Know Him Is To Love Him.
A dear friend of mine has recently realized her son is very likely autistic and has Asperger's Syndrome. I began researching this Syndrome and it has given me considerably more patience and understanding with his odd behaviors. The natural tendency is to reject him, or to be critical of him, but with this knowledge, I have been much more able to accept him for who he is, and relate to him in a way that best ministers love to him. He is who he is, and the way he is, and that is not going to change no matter how much I feel my constructive feedback should give him insight into his behavior and help him to relate better (less odd).
After 24 years of relating to my husband, I recently have a much greater understanding of him and for him. Years of exasperation, and criticism toward him, have been steadily melting into acceptance, understanding and love; with knowledge of how to best show him my love in ways that help him to feel truly loved, I have hope my dream of working in tandem in a ministry for God with my husband may yet be fulfilled.
Even Father God would be difficult to love if we couldn't (or don't) know Him or understand Him for who He truly is. To know Him is to Love Him.
It is paramount that we grow in the grace and knowledge of our Father God, of our Lord Jesus- The Christ, with the guidance and help of the Holy Spirit- our Great Counselor.
After 24 years of relating to my husband, I recently have a much greater understanding of him and for him. Years of exasperation, and criticism toward him, have been steadily melting into acceptance, understanding and love; with knowledge of how to best show him my love in ways that help him to feel truly loved, I have hope my dream of working in tandem in a ministry for God with my husband may yet be fulfilled.
Even Father God would be difficult to love if we couldn't (or don't) know Him or understand Him for who He truly is. To know Him is to Love Him.
It is paramount that we grow in the grace and knowledge of our Father God, of our Lord Jesus- The Christ, with the guidance and help of the Holy Spirit- our Great Counselor.
Walk In The Light
The only way we will learn to relate as a more functional family of God, is if we walk in the light, as He is in the light. Then we will have fellowship with one another. It is by transparency, honesty and confessing our hurt or sin to one another. The security of acceptance and loving accountability is a beginning for the climate of love to grow and blossom in us as a family; toward the new, dysfunctional or hurting members. When I hurt someone unaware, I want them to inform me so we may both be healed. This is far better than just trying to avoid the one who hurt us.
All of us have experienced a distortion of God's love from the moment of our conception because of sin. All of us have been subject to deceptions, lies and accusations no matter how loving, godly or healthy our family structure was or is. Without subjecting our minds to the renewal process of the Word, continuing to hold every thought captive and being honest with those who have hurt us (or about our hurts) then we are limiting the Love of God to move amongst the members of our body. Most Christians, and especially new ones, do not naturally know how to relate functionally. We (with some training) must know some practical ways to encourage them and help them to receive our love.
SOZO is a Hebrew word that means Saved, Healed, Delivered. Many times when the word 'saved' is used in the new Testament it is referring to this complete package. Jesus came to set the captives free. This involves being saved from the second death, healing through forgiving others and deliverance from the lies, strongholds and bondages of sin and the evil one. We have been given power from on high to execute this complete package of salvation. We must walk in this authority for the sake of the many who need this complete salvation package. We also need to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.
An impression was made upon me when Ian preached about us believers who attend Corvallis Calvary Chapel, being a family. After the service, I was unable to get eye contact from those who sat in the far back, closest to the exit door. Most faces had eyes that were down cast. How can we reach into the heart of one of these 'attendees' who does not seem to have the ability to express or expose themselves that they might be healed? I wanted to connect and smile into their faces but this was not natural or comfortable for most. On the other end of the spectrum, the extreme of 'letting it all hang out' no matter how bad the sin, or deep the hurt isn't healthy and causes major discomfort to those listening. I was this extreme. I was willing to cut my arm off or pluck my eye out to advance this kind of salvation in my life. This grew me up fast in many ways but, 'too much information.' People ran when they saw me coming!
We need balance. May we experience the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to reach into the lives of the deeply hurting to provide security and comfort enough for them to reach out to others and allow our real 'self' to be seen and loved. Therefore, we are able to learn to love others in the language in which they are able to perceive being loved, as well as, allow others to love us.
All of us have experienced a distortion of God's love from the moment of our conception because of sin. All of us have been subject to deceptions, lies and accusations no matter how loving, godly or healthy our family structure was or is. Without subjecting our minds to the renewal process of the Word, continuing to hold every thought captive and being honest with those who have hurt us (or about our hurts) then we are limiting the Love of God to move amongst the members of our body. Most Christians, and especially new ones, do not naturally know how to relate functionally. We (with some training) must know some practical ways to encourage them and help them to receive our love.
SOZO is a Hebrew word that means Saved, Healed, Delivered. Many times when the word 'saved' is used in the new Testament it is referring to this complete package. Jesus came to set the captives free. This involves being saved from the second death, healing through forgiving others and deliverance from the lies, strongholds and bondages of sin and the evil one. We have been given power from on high to execute this complete package of salvation. We must walk in this authority for the sake of the many who need this complete salvation package. We also need to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.
An impression was made upon me when Ian preached about us believers who attend Corvallis Calvary Chapel, being a family. After the service, I was unable to get eye contact from those who sat in the far back, closest to the exit door. Most faces had eyes that were down cast. How can we reach into the heart of one of these 'attendees' who does not seem to have the ability to express or expose themselves that they might be healed? I wanted to connect and smile into their faces but this was not natural or comfortable for most. On the other end of the spectrum, the extreme of 'letting it all hang out' no matter how bad the sin, or deep the hurt isn't healthy and causes major discomfort to those listening. I was this extreme. I was willing to cut my arm off or pluck my eye out to advance this kind of salvation in my life. This grew me up fast in many ways but, 'too much information.' People ran when they saw me coming!
We need balance. May we experience the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to reach into the lives of the deeply hurting to provide security and comfort enough for them to reach out to others and allow our real 'self' to be seen and loved. Therefore, we are able to learn to love others in the language in which they are able to perceive being loved, as well as, allow others to love us.
Thank you Jesus
Thank you Jesus for my early wake-up call for prayer. You know how much I have been missing it. I am starting to see how small and limited I allowed you to be in reference to corporate prayer. I knew you heard me when I prayed inaudibly, but it seems, in corporate prayer, I didn't allow you to hear me pray unless no one else was praying and then my prayer needed to be audible for you to hear. Why the enemy was able to get that lie to stay rooted in my thinking is beyond my understanding but He's not too pleased I have started this blog, nor that I have a greater confidence you are 'hearing me' even when it is 'silent' in group prayer.
In prayer meetings, You know how much I love popcorn praying (short, frequent prayers bouncing around the group) because I wouldn't get bored as easily or 'frustrated' when someone was taking forever to say the same thing over but with different words, or as the publican who prayed to himself. Now, I can keep enjoying my time with you and 'pray' even when someone else is talking. Amazing huh?
Thank you Jesus.
In prayer meetings, You know how much I love popcorn praying (short, frequent prayers bouncing around the group) because I wouldn't get bored as easily or 'frustrated' when someone was taking forever to say the same thing over but with different words, or as the publican who prayed to himself. Now, I can keep enjoying my time with you and 'pray' even when someone else is talking. Amazing huh?
Thank you Jesus.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Angels Fly by Day and Night
Most of us have surely entertained angels unaware.
Very seldom is it made obvious our encounters were angelic being(s). Just as often it isn't obvious when a liar or the father of lies is standing beside us whispering. It is only when we consider the lie and respond by our flesh that sin takes hold and we experience separation from the Father, Jesus and the Helper.
In Acts, Peter's encounter with an angel was made obvious after he was released from prison. I imagine the angel of the Lord striking Peter on the side just enough to awaken him from his deep sleep; the prison dim, yet lit enough for Peter to see and quiet enough not to awaken the guards. The release of shackles- silent, Peter's movements calm and the gates didn't creak as they opened. Therefore, Peter didn't realize he wasn't seeing a vision until he "came to his senses," ie., the night air, smells and sounds of the late evening hour in the street outside.
The known encounters Tom and I have had with an angel(s) were made known upon their disappearance when we weren't looking. Occasionally, there may have been a strong sense but most often we are all unaware. Remember:
Angels outnumber the liars by 3-1.
God's angels that are deployed here are commissioned visitors to this realm; messengers, guardians, servants and keepers of the will of God (to name a few).
With so much awareness of the evil around us, and it's prevalence in our world, let's remember, we have a great crowd of onlookers, witnesses, that we are fighting this fight before. Sometimes, angels are much more difficult to recognize because most my encounters have been ordinary people, many transient looking, but we have surely entertained angels unaware.
Very seldom is it made obvious our encounters were angelic being(s). Just as often it isn't obvious when a liar or the father of lies is standing beside us whispering. It is only when we consider the lie and respond by our flesh that sin takes hold and we experience separation from the Father, Jesus and the Helper.
In Acts, Peter's encounter with an angel was made obvious after he was released from prison. I imagine the angel of the Lord striking Peter on the side just enough to awaken him from his deep sleep; the prison dim, yet lit enough for Peter to see and quiet enough not to awaken the guards. The release of shackles- silent, Peter's movements calm and the gates didn't creak as they opened. Therefore, Peter didn't realize he wasn't seeing a vision until he "came to his senses," ie., the night air, smells and sounds of the late evening hour in the street outside.
The known encounters Tom and I have had with an angel(s) were made known upon their disappearance when we weren't looking. Occasionally, there may have been a strong sense but most often we are all unaware. Remember:
Angels outnumber the liars by 3-1.
God's angels that are deployed here are commissioned visitors to this realm; messengers, guardians, servants and keepers of the will of God (to name a few).
With so much awareness of the evil around us, and it's prevalence in our world, let's remember, we have a great crowd of onlookers, witnesses, that we are fighting this fight before. Sometimes, angels are much more difficult to recognize because most my encounters have been ordinary people, many transient looking, but we have surely entertained angels unaware.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Jesus Didn't Know
Mark 15 records Jesus saying, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"
vs 37: And Jesus uttered a loud cry, and breathed His last.
Father God says He will never give us more than we can handle. I weep a lot these days because I think I need relief. Then I think of Jesus on the cross. We all have our own cross to bear on this earth. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Jesus continues ministering even while He hung on the cross. Of the accounts from the 4 Gospels. He forgave the thief at His one side, He spoke directions to John, "This is your mother" and Mary, "Woman, this is your son." Jesus prays for us that we be forgiven. these are the words Jesus spoke: He notes his severe dehydration as, "I thirst." Then two of the Gospels records Jesus saying, "It is finished." and "Into Thy hands I commit My spirit."
Mark 15:33-39 records the following:
At the Ninth hour (3 PM) Jesus cried out with a loud voice, "ELOI, ELOI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?" which is translated, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" And Jesus uttered a loud cry, and breathed His last.
When the Centurion, who was standing right in front of Him, saw the way He breathed His last, he said, "Truly this man was the Son of God!"
I believe Jesus could have thought when He said, "It is finished." and, "Into Thy hands I commit My spirit," that His work on the cross was fulfilled to its completion.
Could it have been the Father placed the sin of all the world upon the body of Jesus like a black shroud just the moment before Jesus' anguished cries?
Though Jesus knew in eternity past the full extent of the sacrifice He would make to pay the debt of sin, I believe Father God did not give the man, Jesus, foreknowledge of the experience of the separation from His Father, in order to carry the sin of the world with him to hell. It stands to reason and in line with the character of the Father and the humanity of the Son of Man that letting Jesus know beforehand could have been excesive torture. That knowledge would have been more than He could handle. He had it thrust upon Him. And notice how Jesus cried out loudly, "WHY?" I also believe it was immediately after that moment when Jesus gave out His gut wrenching, loud cry. Jesus' heart ruptured within his chest cavity and He breathed His last.
His Spirit immediately left His body, and Jesus was sent to hell to taste the second death, paying the price of sin, that we might never die. He spent those hours in hell in the depths of the earth, as Jonah in the belly of the great fish. But gloriously, He awkened a few saints of old and they were allowed to walk the streets of Jerusalem. At the end of his time in hell the debt was paid. He took the keys to the gates of hell and death from Satan. He visited the garden tomb and stood before Mary. And after all this, He ascended to the highest heaven to the eternal throne of Father God, that He might fill all places with Himself. He is standing at the right hand of the Father.
Pretty heavy, huh? I cried, with overwhelmed feelings. Such a great love from Jesus and Father God; and while I was yet, a sinner.
vs 37: And Jesus uttered a loud cry, and breathed His last.
Father God says He will never give us more than we can handle. I weep a lot these days because I think I need relief. Then I think of Jesus on the cross. We all have our own cross to bear on this earth. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Jesus continues ministering even while He hung on the cross. Of the accounts from the 4 Gospels. He forgave the thief at His one side, He spoke directions to John, "This is your mother" and Mary, "Woman, this is your son." Jesus prays for us that we be forgiven. these are the words Jesus spoke: He notes his severe dehydration as, "I thirst." Then two of the Gospels records Jesus saying, "It is finished." and "Into Thy hands I commit My spirit."
Mark 15:33-39 records the following:
At the Ninth hour (3 PM) Jesus cried out with a loud voice, "ELOI, ELOI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?" which is translated, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" And Jesus uttered a loud cry, and breathed His last.
When the Centurion, who was standing right in front of Him, saw the way He breathed His last, he said, "Truly this man was the Son of God!"
I believe Jesus could have thought when He said, "It is finished." and, "Into Thy hands I commit My spirit," that His work on the cross was fulfilled to its completion.
Could it have been the Father placed the sin of all the world upon the body of Jesus like a black shroud just the moment before Jesus' anguished cries?
Though Jesus knew in eternity past the full extent of the sacrifice He would make to pay the debt of sin, I believe Father God did not give the man, Jesus, foreknowledge of the experience of the separation from His Father, in order to carry the sin of the world with him to hell. It stands to reason and in line with the character of the Father and the humanity of the Son of Man that letting Jesus know beforehand could have been excesive torture. That knowledge would have been more than He could handle. He had it thrust upon Him. And notice how Jesus cried out loudly, "WHY?" I also believe it was immediately after that moment when Jesus gave out His gut wrenching, loud cry. Jesus' heart ruptured within his chest cavity and He breathed His last.
His Spirit immediately left His body, and Jesus was sent to hell to taste the second death, paying the price of sin, that we might never die. He spent those hours in hell in the depths of the earth, as Jonah in the belly of the great fish. But gloriously, He awkened a few saints of old and they were allowed to walk the streets of Jerusalem. At the end of his time in hell the debt was paid. He took the keys to the gates of hell and death from Satan. He visited the garden tomb and stood before Mary. And after all this, He ascended to the highest heaven to the eternal throne of Father God, that He might fill all places with Himself. He is standing at the right hand of the Father.
Pretty heavy, huh? I cried, with overwhelmed feelings. Such a great love from Jesus and Father God; and while I was yet, a sinner.
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