Humility

The most painful and tearful times in my life are during God's answer to my fervent prayer for humility. The process is undeniably recognizable as God's hand exposing the pride and arrogance in my life and my choice to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.

Yesterday I visited with my friend Alenna who has loved Jesus for many years and through many arduous days. She was telling me of Daniel Amen's new book, Brain's Language of Love. He has taken tens of thousands of brain scans and is able to recognize where the brain is broken, and just like an x-ray for a bone, see where and how it needs fixing. He stipulates the brain measures a person's character. I had been telling her how excited I was the economy on a global scale is going to collapse in such a way as to pale the October '29 Stock Market crash. I had also mentioned of a friend who fearfully tucks away money into savings and neglects to do good with the money when they saw someone in need. "Boy, I do not have that problem!" I told her (probably with much pride). She began telling me stories of people and the Great Depression, and the grotesque art that came from that era and other eras of war. I value having a friend like Alenna who has lived and endured so much, as well as, exposed her brain to so many very good books. Our time together concluded with how tribulation produces perseverance, perseverance proven character, and character - HOPE. I am excited for the Great Time of Testing that is to come because I have proven character and great hope!

Well, that was yesterday. This morning, when God awakened me, I was in the same state of mind in which I had fallen asleep. I was groaning at the suffering of the war that rages in my flesh. He had me on my knees and in tears crying out to Him, "Please don't let me think more highly of myself than I ought."

Earlier this week I read a small portion of God's Psychiatry, a book Alenna lent me. Written in the 1960's, the author expounded on the truth in Proverbs, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." I am becoming more aware of the full circle of life that repeats over and over in my relationship with God. I set myself up on high places and God reveals my haughty spirit, His lovingkindness brings me to repentance and He tears down those high places and restores my soul, doing a brand new work of hope. Oh, it is good we have Paul's writings of himself running his race set before him. Romans comforts us in hope.

So, my sinful pride raises me up in arrogance, God opens my eyes to repentance, I choose to repent, God facilitates the tearing down of my idols and raises me up in hope...the hope of His Glory, the hope of His humility and the hope of my proven character.

"Therefore, oh my soul, let hope have it's perfect result that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Amen."