In Ihe Middle Of The Night...AGAIN?

God awakened me unusually early this day so here I am, unable to be disciplined in prayer so I'm blogging. I have been changing much these days, working out my salvation with fear and trembling. I was reflecting on 24 years of marriage and a prophesy an Evangelical Pastor student from India prophesied to me before I knew the word of God or what prophesy was for that matter. This morning God has opened my eyes and ears to hear something very interesting! But first let me start from last week: At Wed. Morning Offering,

God told me, "Love your husband as a woman loves a man."

I cried, "But God, I am still wounded."

"I know," He said.

Then I added, "But I feel he crucified me on a cross and just left me there."

"I understand. I know how that feels."

Later in the hour, we broke into 2 person prayer groups and Cindy prayed with me. I cried the tears of a little child in her mother's arms. Since then, I have been humbling myself as a gentle, kind servant to my husband in ways I have never been able to in the past.

So now, before daybreak and after a time of lying in bed enjoying fellowship with God, but starting to feel guilty for not being on my knees, God gave me the following word of knowledge. But first He had me reflect on what should have been an 11 day journey to the Promised Land that become 40 years of wandering in the desert.

It was an effective combination; reflecting on my 24 years of marriage and the Israeli's grueling journey around Mt. Sinai.

"What was meant to take a few days, required many years." I knew God was referring to my marriage regarding my husband still needing healing for his broken heart (which, as it turns out, is actually a stronghold of witchcraft from his rebellion due to unhealed childhood wounds, but that's a blog for another day).

Then God played back to me a comment I made to Tom 24 years ago after (or during) one of our first and last prayers we prayed together as husband and wife:

I said to Tom, "You always pray such 'Mary had a little lamb' prayers?" And it wasn't spoken kindly. How grossly humbling.

I once asked God to reveal to me how negatively I had influenced my marriage and family after meditating on the wicked/ deceitfulness of the heart. He gave me a good revelation of how my heart had deceived me causing paramount consequences to our family. That was then, and that was 2 years ago. This day, I think I see even more clearly the severity of the wickedness of my own heart and the magnitude of the consequences it has had on our family.

I will be spending the next few days legitimately praying and mourning in sack cloth and ashes.

Oh yea, the prophesy I was given in 1974: "In this world you will have many tribulations but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me for I am gentle and humble of heart and you will find rest for your soul."

May the merciful name of the Almighty God be praised, for His kindness endures forever."