The Best About Birthdays

I just turned 53 and the best part of my day was reflecting on how another year is past and will never need to be relived ever again. I am that much closer to heaven. I checked out the Internet about the San Diego Home Fellowship Bible Study that is under scrutiny of the Government of being required to get a Multi-Purpose Permit. I am excited to hear of these events because it is confirming the imminence of the dark times that are approaching and will escalate to greater darkness than ever known before upon the face of this earth.

Many will lose heart and wonder where God is and why He is silent and tolerating such horrific suffering of his beloved children. These days must come. It is predicted. But, many will curse God and desire to roll over and die. Others will experience the miracles of Hebrews 11, receiving their dead back to life and being delivered from prison and martyrdom as in the days of the Acts of the Apostles. Others will suffer greatly at the hands of evil and the host of God's terrible army. Though I hope to see miracle upon miracle, I expect my life will end in martyrdom, whatever that may look like. When God told me on January 25th of this year that: "For such a day as this I called you to nursing." I have known the days of the return of the Son of Man is fast upon us and time is counting down. I do not expect to live or be alive beyond the year 2012. This has given me a great resolve to how I put my life in order and the priorities I choose on a daily basis. It also makes facing any suffering as momentary light afflictions. At age 53, three years is a very short period of time to endure as the earth continues to groan in the pains of it's own suffering.

I prepare daily to face my mortality and frailty as a human and the supernatural grace of His calling upon my life. I am empowered with boldness that speaks the name of Jesus to many who have only known the worship of Mary. I speak with boldness the comments of, "Jesus loves you and He is returning very soon. Get ready. Repent. The days approaching are terrible. Get yourself connected with other God-fearing believers so you may be able to survive the terrible days ahead. Remember, no matter how difficult life becomes, Jesus loves you. He is coming soon and His eyes are aflame with fire. Make yourself ready to face that terrible and awesome Day Of The Lord.

TAKE IT BY FORCE

"From the days of John the Baptist, until now, the Kingdom of God suffers violence and violent men take it by force." Matthew 11:12

Called

I have experienced Father God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit on all the different relational levels possible for man. Part of this is because I have had to. By most definitions, I have led a very lonely life, yet I seldom feel lonely. In fact, I rather prefer to be alone for it is then that I am more acutely aware of His presence and able to hear His voice. I have known for years that most people consider me "odd" or just no fun to be around. At 18, my earthly father said to me, "You are so serious," and I started to cry. I couldn't help it. I am unable to be much different than serious. As painful and unhappy as my childhood and adulthood has been, I can honestly say, "I am happy in Jesus."
God gave me a compelling drive to know and understand the meaning of life and it's mysteries. It has driven me since my earliest memories as a child. Remember, I dubbed myself: Queen Know It All?
Along with this drive, some of the bizarre realities of my life surround the fact I was 'called' (regardless of any lack of pitter patter romantic feelings) to marry my husband. Tom has an amazing prophetic gift. He is an encourager. And, he has a broken heart.
It started to become clear to me about a year ago that God allows me to "feel His heart." This has helped me to accept my seriousness and lack of merriment. My motto has always been: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."
Of all the feelings God has in His heart during these last days, merriment is not one of the prevalent feelings. He knows the pain and suffering each saint has had to endure. He feels with each broken heart, He understands the trials and tribulations of these last days. He sees the distruction and decay of sin and the evil one. I have had a minuscule taste of God's feeling of wrath.
I must discipline myself to imagine the overwhelming experience and display of joy and merriment from the heart of Father God as He presents us as the Bride to His Son.
This feeling of merriment, in it's exquisite wonder, is beyond my natural imagination. I only know it by faith as wonderful. Just as He has nurtured my imagination of the wonderment of heaven, I shall begin to pray he reveals the wonderment of His merry heart.

Serve God Or Mammon.

Mammon is the God of this world. I have heard mammon defined as money or the currency of exchange for goods and services. Though I believe this is true, I also believe it is insufficient as to define mammon. Having said that, I have been pondering the current events with our world wide bank problems. I have known for a few years the involvement of organized crime in banking and the perpetuation of debt. The results are oppression (slavery) through credit card debt and predatory lending. They exploit, extort and increase their wealth through paper shuffling (buying and selling loans back and forth amongst themselves). They legitimized ways to launder their money. And the ill gotten gain has become increasingly prolific as their families grew and grew along with the rest of our population. They institute laws to protect the illegalities of their grotesque accrual of assets. Yesterday I heard on the news of the majority of middle class Americans losing an average of 40% of their 401k savings plans. Well, these predatory lenders and credit card loan sharks of today implemented over 100 different fees and penalties (sleeper fine print) to these 401k savings plans and voila...instant capitol gain for the evil one. The natural progression of events is clearly the institution of a one world economic "bank" system.
We have been enslaved to this world system of mammon!
And our Deliverer is coming quickly!

The Deliverer Is Coming !

The Jews prayed for 400 years for the Deliverer to come. He arrived right on schedule according to the perfect plan of God and Moses' life was designed perfectly to fulfill the good purposes of God.
I have been praying through something for 23 years and I do not doubt God has heard me. I know I have been praying according to the will of God and I am not praying amiss.
Though, I am ashamed to admit the frequency in which I have doubted the goodness, omnipotence and sovereignty of God.
A few months ago, I heard God say, "Contend with Me."
I asked Him, "How do I contend with the Almighty God?"
"Contend with Me for your family." was His reply.
The message of the importunate prayer came through loud and clear: Pray and keep on praying. Pray believing. Pray in the authority of Jesus. Pray with honesty. And, pray through my questions in confidence (not the same as doubts) .
I understand prayer as I understand the Almighty, Holy God. I pray for understanding.
I understand the requirement of obedience to the practice of prayer. I have been trained by years of travailing in prayer. It may be said, I have not seen "The Deliverer" with my own eyes, but I have seen the powerful effects diligent prayer has had on changing me and giving me understanding. Don't get me wrong, I know my flesh; my laziness and unbelief, but God sees Carmen, the prayer warrior, through The Blood of Jesus. Believe me, I repent often. Not a day has gone by, for at least the past week, I have not tearfully said to God, "I can't do this anymore," or "I am weary," or "How long will You tarry?" etc.
Though I do not understand all the ways of God or prayer, it is important I do not call God a liar by giving up in travailing through prayer until the day I hear Him say, "My Grace is sufficient for thee."

Healing and Merriment of the Heart

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. "

"Guard your heart with all diligence for from it flows the issues of life."
"Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is just whatever is right, think on these things."

This blog is short because of this subject I am very ignorant.

War Is Violent

Someone prayed in prayer meeting this morning that the Christians on the periphery would choose to enter the battle. I wanted to cry out: "They are already in the midst of it." They may be hemorrhaging in varying degrees from fear, despair, anxiety, worry, self-pity, guilt and condemnation, apathy, hatred, oppression, greed, pride and sinful lusts or unbelief. We are at war!! This is not a choice. Whether within our members or against the deceiver, we are in a violent battle.
I have always known myself as an odd person. I am comfortable in my own skin. I have always practiced transparency. When I'm happy you know it. When I am sorrowful you know it. I am quick to confess my sin to someone if I believe it would cause healing for either them or me. I live in a state of frequent, active, brutal warfare. WE CHOOSE TO PUT ON THE FULL ARMOR OF GOD or lie as a victim of war: beaten down, crushed, oppressed, begging for help, numb or full of rage from the years of torment and torture as a prisoner of war.
I know what it is like to be a prisoner of war and be like fodder for the enemy. I was a saint who at one time shook her fist at God and said, "I quit! I do not want to play this game with you anymore." I entertaining the notion I could "check-out" of the battle through suicide. After coming to my senses, I pleaded with God never to let me go to that place again.
Paul suffered many things at the hand of God. But he fought the good fight, he ran the race to win, he persevered and pressed on toward the upward calling of the Lord Jesus Christ.
David suffered as God's anointed.
Abraham believed God. How? After suffering from his self preserving ways of unbelief, then getting to the other side with hind sight vision to see the goodness and faithfulness of God.
I have been trying to use any behaviors of unbelief as a barometer to indicate what part of my armor I am not protected by. Or if I am not wielding the sword of The Spirit of Truth, even if just to block fatal blows. Or if I am neglecting to hold up the shield of faith for protection from the fiery darts.
In conclusion, I will call upon the LORD. He is worthy to be praised. The Lord lives and blessed be my rock and blessed be the God of my salvation.